ARE YOU LONELY?

2011-10-17T04:54:00.000-07:00

I attended this Workshop conducted by Robert Lawrence Friedman
The Healing Power of the Drum – Workshop Outline

This full day workshop Singapore (17th October, 20110) will run from 9:00am to 4:30pm with morning, lunch and afternoon breaks.

Please note that meals are not included in the workshop registration fee.

Seminar Objectives
Use rhythm-based exercises to improve communication, listening skills and intimacy of various populations;
Examine specific populations in regard to effects of rhythm-based therapy;
Provide tools and techniques for releasing anger and stress;
Explore non-verbal and verbal rhythmic exercises for boosting self-esteem;
Use Rhythmic Entrainment as a vehicle to both relax and energize;
Use Guided Visualization as a method to deepen the state of relaxation.
In addition, the program will focus on :
Drumming for Specific Populations and Disorders

§ Alzheimer’s Disease
§ Parkinson’s Disease
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
Unresolved Grief Anger Management
Autism
Disabled Children Exercises

Drum Set Vocalizations
The Scat Orchestra Entrainment Exercises I and II.
Drumming Meditation
Releasing Emotions Into the Drum
Drumming to Feel Your Power
Affirmations and Drumming
The African Village
Music Therapy Techniques

A state of Emotional Pain

2011-10-05T21:59:00.000-07:00

A State of Emotional Pain

My heart is still longing for him (her late husband). Loneliness is sad and emotionally unpleasant. - Josephine-

A feeling of sadness. Participants in this study repeatedly stated that many of their lonely times included times of sadness as well. “Feelings of sadness” is a phrase that has never been used in the UCLA Loneliness scale. Rather, it is reported in this way: “I am unhappy being so withdrawn.” For the purpose of this study, I am assuming that the UCLA concept of ‘unhappiness’ is equivalent to the sadness, observed in the participants in this study.

Unhappiness caused by the frustration of loneliness, unhappiness caused by the absence of others, or still yet so many other emotions could automatically and knowingly occur while trying to cope with each passing day. According to my study, sadness quickly intensifies. It passes through stages of anger, rage, defiance, frustration, even self-pity but very often, the end result is a deep seated sadness that easily evolves into, in the worst case scenario, profound sadness that has proved to be a characteristic of the loneliness experience by the participants in this study.

Rubenstein and Shavers (1982) mentioned that sadness is a feeling that goes with loneliness. Another study also affirmed that in general, persons who reported loneliness were more depressed, anxious, and hopeless, and were more likely to report sadness and anhedonia, than individuals who did not report loneliness. (Barg, Ashomre, Wittink, Murray, Bogner and Gallo (2006).

Gaev (1976) explains that emotional loneliness describes a general feeling of sadness and longing when the need for genuine emotional closeness, affection or meaningful conversation with significant others is frustrated, even if in a relationship. Gaev (1976) uses the term social loneliness to identify the feeling of sadness stemming from the unsatisfied need to belong or have a place in the social world and she likens it to the sociological term of alienation.

Loneliness, then, sounds like an unpleasant state of emotional pain and negative self-image that people fear, attempt to avoid, and struggle to escape. Buchholz and Catton (1999) describe loneliness as a negative state most often coupled with feelings of sadness and hopelessness. So, it can be easily deduced that sadness is the effect after many other emotions take precedence that is the multi-causal ignition that causes the feeling to erupt and to be maintained.

It (loneliness) is a feeling of hurt when you do not have that person (his late wife) with you any longer. -Adrian-

Extract taken from a doctoral Dissertation, (Abas, 2007)

Happy Birthday to Santo

2011-10-02T21:34:00.001-07:00

A joyful day for Mr. Santo Castello who celebrated his 95th birthday on Oct, 1st 2011. Santo has been a great friend when I was still in Rochester, NY.
Many more years for your Santo to be the witness of the Lord.

2011-09-27T01:29:00.000-07:00

A State of Being Overwhelmed with Work and Emotion

I feel overwhelmed and realize my limits when doing something which I am incapable of doing. – Sonia-

A feeling of being overwhelmed. Feeling overwhelmed encompasses many emotions including the typical feelings of despair and anxiety. These participants described being physically overwhelmed (with work) while at the same time, their minds were filled to capacity with a feeling of having nowhere to turn. Anger and resentment set in quickly when overwhelmed feelings came to the forefront. All in all, persons feeling overwhelmed claim to feel that there is nowhere to turn; nowhere to achieve a productive or rewarding sense of self-worth.

The word “overwhelmed” came into play quite frequently during these interviews. Some of the participants in this study stressed their feelings of being overwhelmed and at the same time reported feeling anger and sadness along with being overwhelmed. Being overwhelmed was always reported as being associated with other types of pain, as well. No research in the literature about being overwhelmed was found. The situation of being overwhelmed is much too broad of a topic to reference. The situation does not stand alone, especially as evidenced in these participants’ interviews.

Summing up, being overwhelmed encompasses two basic situations: Overwhelmed with responsibility and overwhelmed with emotion. Not all participants who felt overwhelmed were overwhelmed with responsibility. They were all however, overwhelmed with emotion in their own way. Above all, becoming overwhelmed along with being lonely made coping even more difficult.

The feeling of helplessness occurs because of the inability to handle the emotion of living alone. –Andrew-

A feeling of being helpless. My anecdotal experience in clinical settings suggests that the transition to helplessness from feeling overwhelmed involves retreat when the psyche can no longer contain anxiety or fear anymore. Rubenstein & Shaver (1982) have put being helpless as one factor of feeling lonely that involves desperation. The word “helplessness” was used by study participants in a manner reminiscent of Von Witzleben (1958) who distinguished between two types of loneliness, one accompanied by loss of an object in the real world, and the other the “loneliness of one’s self,” (the feeling of being alone and helpless in this world). This latter type of loneliness, which is commonly experienced, is what he terms primary loneliness. For him, it was independent of the loss of an object. Loneliness can include an experience of anxiety, which is vague and pervasive, in which one feels panicked and helpless. One does not know how to cope with it and fears that it may overwhelm one (Gaev, 1976).

Taking this concept to the next step, the overwhelmed participants were all grounded in one commonality of emotion. They all tended to agree that loneliness set in only after their own filled psyches resisted any more responsibilities. But, the situation that changed them from overwhelmed to helpless was only felt because, during attempts, they could not devise a plan to rectify their overwhelming feelings. Therefore, “no plan” then led to the feeling of helplessness because they finally realized that not only could they not achieve success in their endeavors, but that only solution was to seek the help of others, enabling the frustration, the guilt, and the fear to become the main characteristics of helplessness.

Extract taken from Doctoral Dissertation, Abas 2007.

2011-09-26T20:33:00.000-07:00

BORNEO HOME OF HOPE

1. Geriatric Workshop Programs

a) To draw a Logo for the proposed Borneo Research Aging Center

b) To draft the Vision & Mission of “BRAC”

c) To produce and print program brochures

2. Rhythmic Tranquility Programs

a) To draw a Logo for Rhythmic Tranquility Program “RTP”

b) To draft the Objective of Rhythmic Tranquility

c) To produce and print program brochures

3. Topics of Professional Development Courses

a) Counseling “A Process View”

b) Basic Helping Skills and Counseling as a New Experience

c) Adult Life Span

d) Counseling Skills

e) A Pastoral Response to Domestic against Violence

Stories of elderly individuals

2011-09-15T20:02:00.001-07:00

As an elderly person living independently, there is a certain time of day when she feels that loneliness does creep in. This admission solidifies the lived time component in Alice’s life experience. She says, “I’d say between 4.00 P.M to 7.00 P.M; that’s kind of like it is dusk and that, to me, is that in-between.” She feels very adamant about this lived time aspect, as she chose to mention it in both of the interviews conducted.

With her soft-spoken voice, Alice expresses her feeling further explains that getting around in the winter is not a problem for her because she remains homebound. Naturally, the cold stops her from going out. However, even during the summer, she realizes that she is less active, as well because she does not like the outdoors when it is too hot. She concludes, “That’s why I like it better in the springtime.” She convinces herself that staying inside during the summer is naturally all right. Above all, she has her own preferences for certain types of weather and that helps her to be more active. Besides facing the different seasons of the year and living alone, she tries to convince herself that even though she is alone, she can never be lonely. However, she realizes, in reality that it is a feeling of loneliness that she is experiencing. Gradually she accepts the fact that loneliness does occur in her life of being alone.

Extract of Doctorate Dissertation, Abas, 2007.

Stories of Elderly Individuals

2011-09-15T18:49:00.001-07:00

Alice is a retired 71-year-old licensed practical nurse. Currently she is living alone in her own apartment. Her husband passed away twenty years ago. She has two sons; one is out-of state and the other lives in a large urban community. Also, her children are living their own lives with their families, and contact with her is infrequent. She expresses that this is what has caused her loneliness. In addition, her relationships with others have also decreased because of her own preoccupation with her daily chores.

In both interviews she confidently described her lived experiences. Alice spoke gently, and occasionally paused for a few minutes before giving the answer to each question. To each question I posed, it appeared that she was making a serious attempt to delve into her inner-self.

The above quote is an excerpt taken from Alice’s narrative. It signifies the lived body (corporality) experience. Alice realizes that at this stage of her life, she is no longer young. She explains that ailments associated with aging have caused her to go slower in her daily activities. According to Alice, her age-related ailments have also stopped her from doing certain work that she frequently has been able to do.

Extraxt from Doctrate Dissertation, Abas 2007

Stories of elderly individuals

2011-09-15T18:47:00.001-07:00

Stories of Eight Elderly Individuals

Alice

I think that once you start feeling some of these aging ailments, I think they compound it, because then you realize that you are not able to do some of the things you like to do, like walking in the mall, for instance (Line 154-158 of 1^st interview).

The story of Alice. Using the metaphor of a flowing river, Alice symbolizes her daily journey of life in this way: She feels that the flowing river, while constantly changing its course, can be treacherous, at times. But it also can easily carry her off, away from the regularities of her life in general. The reason for feeling this way is the relationship that she makes to the concept of “staying afloat” throughout life’s changes. She confidently states that she is surviving and even in the second interview she reiterated that although the river is still treacherous, it is not as dangerous as she felt it was when talking about it in the first interview.

Extract from Doctrate Dissertation, Abas 2007.

2011-09-11T09:59:00.000-07:00

FIRST PERSON-Rhythmic Tranquility

Democratand Chronicle May 30, 2006: A Weekly Column that explores the ordinary,
and extra ordinary, moments of our lives.
by Carlos Ortiz

Father Peter Abas, 45 moved to Rochester three years ago from Borneo, Malaysia.
He founded and leads the Peaceful Rhythmic Hand Drumng Session, which takes
place three time each month at St. Anne Church in Rochester, where he is an assisting
priest. Abas also counsels students at the University of Rochester and is very active
with nonprofit organizations within the community.

really love counseling, helping people. One of the methods I'm using now is to the sounds of the drum. I learned to play the drum from Mr. Blair (Blair Horbuckle) from Bushmango.
I've played the drum for the last three years, and what makes me play is helping elderly and

young people feel the inner peace in themselves. When they beat the drum, they can express themselves emotionally, feel the tranquility and they and have that peaceful moment in their lives.

Normally I get around 10 to 15 people different ages, the youngest is 11 years old and the oldest is 86 years old.
I use different instruments; jembe, which is a typical Africa drum, the dun dun which is
also from Africa, and I also have a drum from the Native Americans and many
other percusssions.

The culture that has a big influences in me are my own people, because back at home we play drums and gongs. When I came over here, I tried to integrate the East and West Afro-culture and I would say that the greatest influences is from my own tribal people of the

Kadazandusun of Borneo, Malaysia, because we are really in love with music.
If you want to have inner peace, it really has to start from our inner self through the
peacefulness of the soul, so that we can produce harmony when we work or mingle
with people.

2011-09-11T09:51:00.000-07:00

Wisdom of the Sacred Drums

Diversity + Unity = Harmony

The powerful expression of each individual is very unique. It is the expression of the inner-self.

2011-09-09T21:24:00.000-07:00

IRONDEQUOIT POST November 19, 2009

NEWS IN BRIEF

Visting priest gives presentation tonight

INRONDEQUOIT - The Rev. Peter Abas, a priest who is a native of Borneo, in Irondequoit

on a temporary assignment in the Irondequoit cluster of Roman Catholic churches, is

giving a drumming presentation at 7p.m. tonight, Thursday, Nov, 19 at St. Margaret Mary

Church, 401 Rogers Parkway.
The Presentation, sponsored by the Irondequoit Regional Evangelization Comittee,

is titled "Diversity and Unity equals Harmony inChrist." It is open to all.

"He is very talented, has several degress, does family counseling, helps with art therapy for

Alzheimer's patients and also is quite musical." said Irondequoit resident and

Christ the King Church parishioner KyraNiklewicz. "He (Abas) has been

known to pull out his harmonica during Mass and play along with the music ministry!

2011-09-09T21:13:00.000-07:00

Why you should try the Wisdom of the Sacred Drums?

Get in touch with your Life Experiences and recognize your "Sacred Story" with color and drums. Storytelling, paint and drumming with our gifted facilitator, Fr. Peter Abas.

Are you willing to share your Sacred Stories? If so this might be the session you are searching for...

Enhances sense of community among elderly individuals

Creates engaging & positive experiences for elderly individuals.

Communicate your deep seated commitment to the spiritual well being of elderly individuals.

2011-09-09T21:06:00.000-07:00

WISDOM of the Sacred Drums

- Peaceful Rhythmic Expression -

Each of us has been blessed with abundant grace in our lives. Knowing this

blessedness is a gift that often comes wrapped in change.

Day by day, we face inevitable changes and our spirit goes

where we allow it through the personal choices we make.

It is when we stop to reflect on our sacred stories that we can recognize

the Gift of Wisdom in our life experiences.

Wisdom holds a special dignity and depth. It is not a spontaeous gift. It is acquired

through grace from the Holy Spirit, reflection and sharing.

(Charism, December 2009 Volume 7, Issue 4)

Some workshops which Dr. Abas presented

2011-09-08T16:54:00.000-07:00

Some workshops which Dr. Abas Presented.

Feb 9-12, 2006 32nd Annual Meeting and Educational Leadership Conference, Indianapolis, Indiana
Presented: Phythmic Art: Counselors Create Empathy with Elderly through Peaceful Rhythmic Hand
Drumming.

March 5-8, 2006 Southern Gerontological Society in Lexington, Kentucky
Presented: Integrating Peaceful Drumming in Reminiscence Group with Elderly Individuals.

April 28-30, 2006 New York Mental Health Counselor Association Convention in Albany, New York
Presented: Rhythmic Art: Counselor Creates Empathy with Elderly Individuals in Group
Counseling Through Rhythmic Hand Drumming.

June 13-17, 2006 33rd Annual Organizational Behavior Teaching Conference in Rochester,
New York
Presented: Diversity, Unity and Harmony: Realizing Human Potential with the heartbeat of the drum.

Oct 12-14, 2006 North Aantic Regional Association for Counselor Education and Suervision,
Lake George, New York.
Presented: Tapping into the Rhythm of Life: Drumming, Empathy and Elderly.

There were more past evening workshops on hand drumming workshops to be posted soon!

Loneliness Scale 1999

2011-09-08T16:34:00.000-07:00

With Professor Dr. Theo van Tilburg
Professor Social Gerontology
VrijeUniversiteit Amsterdam

With Professor Dr. J. Gierveld, J. (Honorary Fellow)
Netherlands Interdisciplinary Demographic Institute

The scale consists of 11 items; six are formulated negatively and five are formulated positively. The items are sometimes preceded by a short introduction.

English
Dutch

Please indicate for each of the 11 statements, the extent to which they apply to your situation, the way you feel now. Please, circle the appropriate answer.
Wilt u van elk van de volgende uitspraken aangeven in hoeverre die op u, zoals u de laatste tijd bent, van toepassing is? Omcirkel het antwoord dat op u van toepassing is.
Manual of the Loneliness Scale 1999
(Updated from the printed version: 30-3-2011)

Jenny de Jong Gierveld & Theo van Tilburg
VU University, Faculty of Social Sciences, Department of Sociology

1
There is always someone I can talk to about my day-to-day problems
Er is altijd wel iemand in mijn omgeving bij wie ik met mijn dagelijkse probleempjes terecht kan

2
I miss having a really close friend
Ik mis een echt goede vriend of vriendin

3
I experience a general sense of emptiness
Ik ervaar een leegte om me heen

4
There are plenty of people I can lean on when I have problems
Er zijn genoeg mensen op wie ik in geval van narigheid kan terugvallen

5
I miss the pleasure of the company of others
Ik mis gezelligheid om me heen

6
I find my circle of friends and acquaintances too limited
Ik vind mijn kring van kennissen te beperkt

7
There are many people I can trust completely
Ik heb veel mensen op wie ik volledig kan vertrouwen

8
There are enough people I feel close to
Er zijn voldoende mensen met wie ik me nauw verbonden voel

9
I miss having people around me
Ik mis mensen om me heen

10
I often feel rejected
Vaak voel ik me in de steek gelaten

11
I can call on my friends whenever I need them
Wanneer ik daar behoefte aan heb kan ik altijd bij mijn vrienden terecht

1 Updated from the printed version: de Jong Gierveld, J., & van Tilburg, T.G. (1999). Manual of the loneliness scale. VU University Amsterdam, Department of Social Research Methodology (ISBN 90-9012523-X). A hard copy is to obtain from the authors.

Acknowledgement
The Ministry of Health, Welfare and Sports financially supported the revision of this manual.

Correspondence address
Prof. dr. J. de Jong Gierveld, Prof. dr. T.G. van Tilburg
VU University Amsterdam
Faculty of Social Sciences
De Boelelaan 1081, NL-1081 HV Amsterdam, The Netherlands
Phone (van Tilburg): (+31) 20 - 598 6870; Telefax: (+31) 20 - 598 6810
E-mail: Gierveld at planet.nl, T.G.van.Tilburg at vu.nl

An outing turned fatal for an elderly man

2011-09-08T16:20:00.000-07:00

MIRI: A breakfast outing in Tudan yesterday morning turned fatal for a senior citizen who was hit by a lorry.

The 70-year-old man succumbed to injuries on his head and body.

According to eyewitnesses, a lorry from Tudan heading towards a nearby shopping complex rammed the elderly man.

MIRI: A breakfast outing in Tudan yesterday morning turned fatal for a senior citizen who was hit by a lorry.

The 70-year-old man succumbed to injuries on his head and body.

According to eyewitnesses, a lorry from Tudan heading towards a nearby shopping complex rammed the elderly man.

After the impact, the vehicle allegedly sped off.

Miri Traffic Police have yet to classify the incident as a hit-and-run accident, as they are still waiting for the lorry driver to make a police report.

The 7am incident attracted curious passers-by to the scene.

Medical personnel from Miri Hospital and Miri Traffic personnel rushed to the scene on receiving calls from members of the public.

The man died on the spot and his body was sent to Miri Hospital for an autopsy.

According to the deceased’s brother, who was met at the scene yesterday, it was a daily routine for his brother to go for breakfast with friends at the coffee shops in the area .

After the impact, the vehicle allegedly sped off.

Miri Traffic Police have yet to classify the incident as a hit-and-run accident, as they are still waiting for the lorry driver to make a police report.

The 7am incident attracted curious passers-by to the scene.

Medical personnel from Miri Hospital and Miri Traffic personnel rushed to the scene on receiving calls from members of the public.

The man died on the spot and his body was sent to Miri Hospital for an autopsy.

According to the deceased’s brother, who was met at the scene yesterday, it was a daily routine for his brother to go for breakfast with friends at the coffee shops in the area .

News taken from Borneo Post Online July 26, 2011.

Description and Interpretation of Loneliness

2011-08-30T17:07:00.000-07:00

(Taken from my Doctoral Dissertation, 2007 which was defended in Dec, 2007 at the University of Rochester, NY)

Adrian

Adrian is a 75 years old man. At the age of 60 he retired from his job as a sheet metal worker. He lost his second wife two year ago. His first wife is currently suffering of Alzheimer and living at the nursing home. Adrian used to be a member of the German choir. He has three daughters and they have their own families. Adrian is a traveler and he used to cruise with his second wife. Adrian keeps himself busy with house chores and he spends time with his older brother. He chooses spinning top as his metaphor. The spinning comes off the string and goes round and round and then it wanders off a little bit and then it slows down and stops. He identifies his life similar to this spinning top. According to him, he needs to keep up his life straightened.

Losing his wife is an incident that he needs to accept and to reprocess in his life. He gently expresses his feeling about this situation.

Adrian: It is a feeling of missing someone a significant other. There is the emptiness in that feeling. It is also painful as I see that I am alone now. Like a part of me is not there. I know it but I can’t put my hand on it. It’s an inner part of me that I should be aware of but it just isn’t there. And yet, I am not grieving because she is gone. I am looking forward to seeing her again. (Line 48-53 of 1st interview).

His exploration into this situation becomes apparent when he interprets his loneliness.
Adrian: Loneliness is a feeling that something is missing out of your life and you keep looking for a way to replace it. It’s something hard to define, actually. I don’t know what the word could be. I can’t explain it very well but it is an absence of something. (Line 73-76 of 1st interview).

With his gentle and emotional voice he expresses his inner feeling.
Adrian: The emptiness is not having her there to touch to hug I keep wishing that I had done more of it when she was still here. I told her I loved her more because you can say it a dozen times a day. It’s still not boring. (Line 107-110 of 1st interview).

He delves in-depth with his feeling and he eventually voices this sentence in regard to his feeling of missing something. He ultimately explains his feeling.

Adrian: It is an emotional and painful because I am missing wife. There is emptiness and it cannot be replaced. It is also a feeling that comes and goes in life. (Line 292-294 of 1st interview).

Adrian expresses his lived bodily but in this aspect confidently expresses of how he feels.
Adrian: I have been very fortunate. I have been very healthy but, I have been thinking about that, too. I don’t want to be a burden to anyone. I am little bit worry because I am alone. And yet I don’t really like the thought of living in a nursing home. For one thing it is too expensive. (Line 190-194 of 1st interview).

Another positive perception of Adrian as he is living independently is that he is not totally lonely because of his companion a dog.

Adrian: However, I am not that lonely at the time I have an old dog and she’s with me, most of the time. In fact, when I sit down, she thinks that it’s a signal for her to jump up on my lap. She’s a little apricot colored poodle. She’s a good girl and she gets along fine with the kids. She loves them and her tail is wagging so hard you think she is going to take off like a helicopter. (Line 55-60 of 1st interview).

In regard to his own interaction with others, it is obviously that Adrian has limited himself of going out. He goes out only for some special occasions.

Adrian: I see my brother mostly; I see him twice a week. We go out together for lunch on Thursday and dinner on Friday. We go someplace where there have a good fish fry. (Line 185-187 of 1st interview).

One way Adrian point out of how he keeps himself for being lonely is by occupying himself with works.

Adrian: I keep myself busy. I have an awful time trying to keep my room straight. I have papers all over the place; on the desk, on the dresser. (Line 63-65 of 1st interview). I’ve had plenty of things to keep me busy. I don’t have time to sit and brood, even if I had time to brood over something. (Line 28-30 of 1st interview).

His kitchen area at home is the place he likes to be because it enables him to reminisce his past relationship with the wife.

Adrian: I would say the kitchen, because we just sat in the kitchen and talked quite a bit. If we had anything bothering us, that’s when we got it off our chest. It never interfered with our meals. We would just get up and leave the table. That’s one of the good things about it. As long as we discussed things and got them off our chests, we didn’t have a lot of arguments. We may have had little disagreements about one thing or another that weren’t very serious, but if it was serious, we both gave in. I can’t think of anything much that was that serious that we had to worry about it. (Line 119-128 of 1st interview).

Adrian expresses an interesting event of his life of how he realizes his action of what he is doing is a kind of coping mechanism toward his wife death.

But I am beginning to understand that that is a way of compensating for the loss of my wife because eating always keeps you satisfied and happy for the time being. But, it just occurred to me a short time ago that perhaps that’s what I am doing without even realizing it. (Line 174-177 of 1st interview).

Finally Adrian highlights of how he wants his life to be and what direction does he needs to follow. He has his beliefs and faith that becomes his primary focus in Life.

Adrian: I just want to be firm in my faith and sometimes there is a struggle between what I should do and what I have an inclination. It’s been that all our lives. First things, first. God is always first. It has to be, no matter what. I am not letting anything interfere with my going to the 8:00 mass unless there’s nothing I can do about it like being snowed in or having a flat tire just before I start off to mass or something like that; circumstances. (Line 223-230 of 1st interview).

In summary, Adrian describes loneliness identifying to how he misses his wife who have died. He also explains that his eating habit has to do with his coping of the death of the wife. It is compensating of the loss of his wife. The emptiness signifies of not having someone to touch and this he refers to his wife. Loneliness for him is also emotional and painful and the emptiness cannot be replaced. He concludes by saying that it is also a feeling that comes and goes in life.

How do I appreciate my Lived Experiences (Part 1)

2011-08-30T16:35:00.000-07:00

HOW DO I APPRECIATE MY LIVED EXPERIENCES?

Session I
How do I appreciate my lived experiences?

Objectives:
1. To give an opportunity to an individual person to reflect and appreciate her/his journey of life.
2. To give a sense of awareness to an individual person that each person has a “sacred” story to tell and to share.

Part I: Moment of Encounterment (40 minutes)

a. Where am I going and where am I now?
- To give each person an equal opportunity to share about herself/himself.
- To give each person the opportunity to appreciate others’ stories.

Part II: Moment of Identity: “Communal activity on Expressive Arts.” (20 minutes)

b. To empower each person to express her/his journey in “color” in the form o arts.
c. To empower each person to appreciate her/his own uniqueness of others’ journeys.

Part III: Moment of Intimacy: Appreciation of ourselves, relationships with others and thankfulness to God for each individual. (20 minutes)

a. To encourage each person uniqueness expression in the beating of the drums.
b. To promote harmony among in the group to the sacred sound of the drums.

Part IV: Debriefing from everyone. See you again at the next session. (10 minutes)

Facilitator; Rev. Dr. Abas

Proposed Training Program for Caregivers

2011-08-29T10:17:00.000-07:00

ADAPTING WITH DIGNITY

Learning objectives:

Identify basic human needs & their impact on aging
Discuss changes that often accompany aging, vision, hearing, mobility and etc...
Identify & assess the individual's needs from multiple perspectives
Preserve self-esteem

Facilitator: Rev. Dr. Peter Abas

Description and Interpretation of Loneliness

2011-08-26T14:39:00.000-07:00

Taken from my doctoral dissertation "Loneliness and Lived Experiences of Elderly Individuals Living Independently: Hermeuneutic Phenomenological Approach.
Rev. Dr. Peter Abas

A State of No Direction

Loneliness is like losing my path of where I am going. It is a searching kind of experience.
–Jessica-

A feeling of being lost.
Four participants in my study described their loneliness as feeling lost; there is no literature that speaks directly to this experience of loneliness. Feeling lost occurs when other people are not able to help to give the participant a sense of understanding and meaning. According to Adrian, a sense of loss is created from being alone. He stated, “When my wife died, my emotions were unclear and I did not know which way to turn.” People are often used to depending on others to help them complete their daily tasks. This quote by Sonia validates the previous statement, “after my husband passed away, I was lost and burdened with many tasks.” People gain a sense of identity by being around other people. If one is lonely and no others are around to support him/her, he/she often loses his/her sense of identity. According to Sandra, “since all my children are gone, and I have been left alone, I don’t know who I am anymore.” Confusion precedes feeling absolutely lost because there is, in general, no maintenance of the sense of identity or the sense of self. In summary, these quotes serve as a support for the incidental theme of feeling lost, but there was no existing literature about this subject matter.

It is difficult to lose someone (her husband). Confusion hits me very much. I am stuck and need direction. –Josephine-

A feeling of confusion.
Another incidental theme that is not directly mentioned in literature is the feeling of confusion. There were six participants who mentioned this feeling of confusion in their descriptions. One piece of literature did mention something about this emotion, however, the reference speaks more specifically about “identity confusion”. Salder and Johnson (1980) stated: “The experience of social loneliness is often quite complex. Consider, for example, the problem of identity confusion which may be an integral part of the social dimension of loneliness” (p. 53). In contrast the participants in this study were addressing in this study confusion about being alone and the inability to handle chores in their daily lives. Alice also sees that “loneliness is similar to getting out of confusion and searching for direction.” Once very functional in their everyday lives, these participants were becoming aware of the fact that they were beginning to become confused about doing things they once did automatically. Adrian states, “…now that she (his wife) is gone, many things, I once knew how to do are confusing to me.” Sonia adds, “After my husband died, many things that I was capable to do have since confused, me totally.” Sometimes, the end result was even incapacitation to the extent that others had to become involved in order to achieve a functional lifestyle. This, then, can be described as having feelings of confusion, due to this predominant and underlying inability to rationalize and discern.
I am trying to understand my situation better; this is loneliness for me because there is no one who truly empathizes.-Vicky-

A feeling of lack of understanding.
The incidental theme of the feeling of a lack of understanding is very prominent among the participants’ descriptions. There were six participants who described feeling a lack of understanding. It was very clear that their descriptions were based on their lived other components of lived experiences. The participants looked into their inner selves and assessed that nobody understood their situations. Sonia emphatically states, “unfortunately, family members’ lack of understanding makes me feel lonely.” In addition to the previous statement, Jessica offered a similar testimony. “When others do not understand my experience it is a lonely feeling for me.” She adds, “It is just a matter of knowing that this is my life and I need to have a direction.
There is no literature that corroborates this incidental theme, thus, it is another incidental theme that is worth researching in an in-depth way. The need for more in-depth research is underscored by the frequency with which the participants mentioned this in their descriptions. In this study, not being understood has been identified as the initial feeling of loneliness.

Summary
Losing the natural balance of psychological well-being has been proven to be precipitated by feelings of loneliness due to the three incidental themes described in this section. First, feeling that one is lost gives that person a helpless feeling and frustrates attempts at recalling previously learned abilities and behaviors. Next, feeling confused brings about a concern that it is important to be able to “get right” with the world so that the course can be re-charted. But when confused, there seems to be no where to turn. Lastly, trying to convey the lost and confused state to others poses the problem of then becoming greatly misunderstood, thus leading to the inevitable lonely feeling that sets in and becomes deep-seated and constant. Generally, “a state of no direction” is the end result of the incidental themes that occur while these persons experienced loneliness.

Conclusion
In concluding this section, it is noteworthy to discuss the fact that there is evidence of a lack of corroborative literature available when addressing some of these incidental themes that were used to describe loneliness. In particular, it seemed that the more depth these incidental themes possessed, the less corroborating literature there was available on that particular theme. It demonstrates how difficult it is to fathom the words spoken, but it is ironically very easy to empathize with the feelings expressed. Unfortunately, it is extremely difficult to chronicle situational feelings in documentation format without losing their total meanings. When listening to the participants explore the feelings of being lost, for example, the term “lost”, took on an array of nuances when utilized in these various interviews. Corroborative literature, however, did not exist pertinent to the term lost. As discussed previously, inner suffering is almost impossible to quantify or document because of its extreme profundity. Likewise, the feeling of being overwhelmed is also too broad a topic to describe because of the range of problematic situations that could be included in the overwhelming situations. All in all, these specific incidental themes have proven to be the area of greatest concern in the ongoing study of loneliness in that the need has emerged for additional study in these individual areas of the characteristics of loneliness. In the following section the area of interpretation will be explained and evaluated relative to the responses of these participants.

Training programs for Care-givers

2011-08-24T20:44:00.000-07:00

Rev.Dr. Abas earned his doctorate in education with a specialization in geriatric populations in December of 2007 from the University of Rochester’s Margaret Warner Graduate School of Education and Human Development. In addition to the doctorate, Father Abas also has three master’s degrees and has worked in a variety of fields, including youth ministry with street gangs in the Bronx. At St. Anne, Father Abas has led several initiatives for the elderly, including discussion groups and an intergenerational drum circle.

He also completed his Gerontology Certificate Program from Lifespan/John Fisher College, Rochester, NY. In addition to this, he also completed his learning at the Alzheimer’s Learning Institute – Monroe Community Hospital, Rochester, NY (Completed the Dementia Specific Care giving: Train the Trainer).

In the year of 2007: Lifespan/John Fisher College, Rochester, NY
(Completed Gerontology Certificate Program)
Facilitator Rev. Dr. peter Abas

• Physiological Aspect of Aging
• Economic Aspects of Aging
• Social and Public Policy
• Creativity and the Aging Brain
• Mental Health Assessment
• Issues of Sexuality and the Elderly
• Communication Skills
• Counseling Older Adults and Families
• Loss, Separation and Grief
• Stress and Burnout
• Spiritual Eldering
• Aging and Substance Abuse
• Aging and Emotional Issues
• Aging and Nutrition
• Aging and Women
• Medications and Older Adults
• Aging and Legal Issues
• Aging and Ethics of Life

In the year of 2006: Alzheimer’s Learning Institute – Monroe Community Hospital, Rochester, NY
(Completed the Dementia Specific Care giving: Train the Trainer)

• Nuts and Bolts of Dementia Care
• Effective Communication in Dementia Care
• Problem Solving & Managing Behavioral Issues in Dementia Care
• End of Life
• Sexuality and Intimacy
• Spirituality and Aging
• Meaningful Activities for Dementia Specific Care
• Dementia and Music –Making a Connection
• Dementia Art and the Quality of Life
• How to Work With Families

Rochester Priest Studies Loneliness in the Elderly

2011-08-24T20:33:00.000-07:00

Rochester Priest Studies Loneliness in the Elderly

By Amy Kotlarz, Rochester Catholic Courier

February 28, 2008

To get a handle on loneliness in the elderly, Rev.Dr Peter Abas, parochial administrator at St. Anne Parish in Rochester, asked seniors he was counseling to describe their lives through art.

Together, they painted a picture. One woman contributed a cactus to the canvas.

“Life for her is a cactus -- so dry,” he said.

That was just one metaphor of many that seniors used to describe their lives to Father Abas as he researched his doctoral dissertation on how elderly individuals describe and interpret the experience of loneliness.

“Loneliness is the existence of a powerful void; the state of being overwhelmed with work and life; the state of emotional pain; and the state of no direction,” he said.

He earned his doctorate in education with a specialization in geriatric populations in December of 2007 from the University of Rochester’s Margaret Warner Graduate School of Education and Human Development. In addition to the doctorate, Father Abas also has three master’s degrees and has worked in a variety of fields, including youth ministry with street gangs in the Bronx. At St. Anne, Father Abas has led several initiatives for the elderly, including discussion groups and an intergenerational drum circle.

In January, Father Abas left to take a seven-week journey back to his native Borneo, where he grew up in the Malaysian state of Sabah. Speaking in an interview prior to his trip, he said he intends to continue his research by interviewing the elderly in Borneo as well. He said he plans to compare whether a different cultural background changes how people describe loneliness.

He said work on his doctorate “Loneliness and Lived Experiences of Elderly Individuals Living Independently: A Hermeneutic Phenomological Approach” took two years to complete. He recruited volunteers from throughout upstate New York who were 65 years and older and living independently. All were from different professional backgrounds, and his research subjects included a retired social worker, a retired English teacher and a retired professional truck driver.

Father Abas had the seniors describe their everyday lives, then he was able to interpret the meaning of the phrases they used and the words they said to him.

“I couldn’t jump to the conclusion of whether they were lonely or not,” Father Abas noted.

As he began to explore the theme of loneliness more, Father Abas asked people what they did when they were lonely, how they would explain the reason for their loneliness and how they would describe their experience with loneliness.

“Some of them found it easy to speak, and they were very open with their story,” Father Abas said. “Some found it really difficult.”

Although he was confronted with initial reluctance, Father Abas did have success when he asked the elderly to describe a favorite memory, which led to disclosures about loneliness.

“I could even see some of them really feel a burden in their lives,” he said.

Many used metaphors to describe their lives, such as a flowing river, a flower, a cross, a sunset, an oak tree, an entangled circle or a spinning top.

After a while, though, as participants continued meeting with Father Abas, some began to look at the world in more positive ways. For example, the person who described life as a flowing river amended the statement to say the river was not that treacherous.

“It’s flowing much better,” Father Abas recalled the person saying.

Sue Murty, director of social work at St. Ann’s Community in Rochester, said isolation and loneliness in the elderly can be caused by the loss of loved ones; the loss of independence, such as the loss of driving abilities; and the loss of physical abilities, such as hearing or mobility.

She said seniors often are reluctant to talk about being lonely, so neighbors and friends should keep watch for signs of changes in routine, reclusive behavior or depression. Another sign may be an eagerness to talk for a long time, she said. Friends and neighbors should begin asking questions if they see signs of loneliness, she noted.

“Start by saying, who else do you get support from? Are there other persons in your life?” Murty said.

Father Abas said other ways to cope with loneliness include having a strong faith, acknowledging the importance of prayer, accepting loss and coming to terms with the fact that a person is alone.

It also is important for seniors to take care of their health so that a loss of mobility does not isolate them, he said. Seniors also should consider the time and talents that they are able to give, and they should maintain social connections to counter loneliness.

“Within the church parish level, they can join a social-programming group or some involvement in their church,” Father Abas said.

Most importantly, seniors should turn to others if they are feeling isolated, he noted.

“The way to work through it is to ask for help from people,” Father Abas said.

Prayer is needed too...

2011-08-23T21:22:00.000-07:00

Blessed Kateri Tekakwitha, may it through your intercession the "dream" to start the home of hope in Borneo will be fulfilled!

Praying for intercession of Blessed Kateri Tekakwitha at her Shrine in Fonda, NY.

Peacefulness of the sacred drums!

2011-08-21T19:11:00.001-07:00

The peacefulness of the Sacred Drums .

Sharing the widom of the gift of age"

2011-08-19T01:15:00.000-07:00

"Changes has always been difficult for me. Times like when I moved to Rochester, being in a strange place and not knowing anybody. the Serenity prayer has been my daily strength. Accepting som eof thses changes helps me be close to the Lord every day." Josie B. -Charism Dec 2008, Vol. 2, Issue 4"

"Wisdom of the Drums"

2011-08-19T01:05:00.000-07:00

Changes in our lives told in the Wisdom of the Drums

"There have been a lot of changes in my life but God has been good to me. I'm slowing down taking longer to do tasks. But this is rewarding, too. I am looking at my family more closely by slowing down and really appreciating what's around me. It's giving me more time to read and pray. I work at letting go, not taking life so seriously, enjoying life and being more encouraging to my family." (Meyers M. A -Charism, Dec 2009, Vol. 7, Issue 4)

My Bridge to heaven

2011-08-07T22:58:00.000-07:00

My Bridge to Heaven

Wonderful education from my parents made me of who am I now
Marriage blessed me with children
The transitions and changes in the Church affected my life
Changes are difficult to handle
Being a widow is not that easy
Need a companion but I do not it
Depend on my Father the Lord to guide me
Holy Spirit comes to me

Written by : Virginia (one of my research informants)

Life is Romantic

2011-08-07T22:53:00.000-07:00

Life is a romantic

Thought life is romantic
It takes me to a different path
Dissapoitment and sadness
Later depreseion
River become a river of tear
Faith help me through
Hope to set me through the journey
Redicovery my faith
The water refreshing again
Hopeful stage of my life
I see it as a peaceful and claim river again

Lee, 2007 (Poem written by one of my research informants.

...need help...sos

2011-08-07T22:40:00.000-07:00

I am still looking for a publisher to assist me with the publication of my book.

Anybody can be a help to me. Thank you very much, Peter.

A snapshot of me!

2011-08-05T21:42:00.000-07:00

Reverend Peter Abas, (L.S.L. (Liturgy), M.A. (Pastoral Counseling & Spiritual Direction), A. P. D. (Counseling & Personal Services), Ed. D. (Counseling)

Peter has counseled individuals, couples and families for over 20 years as an ordained Catholic priest from the Archdiocese of Kota Kinabalu, Sabah –Borneo- Malaysia.

Besides being a spiritual director at PCFT, Peter specializes in gerontological caregiving, dealing with issues related to aging and mental health. He also provides individual, group, and couples consultation. He is also interested in issues related to international college students, academic challenges, depression and anxiety.

Peter is a professional member of the ACA (American Counseling Association), AADA (Association of Adult Development and Aging), ASGW (Association for Specialist in Group Work), ACC (Association in Creativity in Counseling) and ASA (American Society of Aging).

Addition special services provided by Peter include: Self-Care Practices of Caregivers, Peaceful Rhythmic Hand Drumming, and Sacred Stories and Healing Journeys.

Proposed Borneo Aging Gracefully Center

2011-08-05T18:44:00.000-07:00

Rev. Dr. Peter Abas praying in the Chapel of Blessed Kateri Tekakwitha at Fonda, New York for the success of this project- Borneo Aging Gracefully Center.
Those of you who might read this about this proposed prject and would like to contribute your time, talents and treasures do not hesistate to contact me.

Peace and Hope,
Rev. Dr. Peter Abas

PROPOSED BORNEO AGING GRACEFULLY CENTER
About BORNEO Aging Gracefully Center
Aging Gracefully Center (AGC) is committed to providing information, guidance and services that help older adults take on both the challenges and opportunities of their well-being. We provide community and professional education. We also continue to do research on the issue of aging.
It also has an adult day care center, located within the vicinity. Adult day care can render caregivers respite by providing a center where elderly parents can be taken for a couple of hours or the entire day and picked back up later. The day programs include social activities, meals and general elderly supervision.

PROPOSED PROFESSIONAL EDUCATION

Professional Education
General Aspects
• Spirituality and Aging
• Aging and Sexuality
• Women & Men and Aging
• Nutrition and Aging
• Medications and Older Adults
• Economic Aspects of Aging
• Ethics and End of Life Decisions

Emotional, Physiological and Legal Aspects
• Emotional impact of caregiving
• Physiological aspects of Aging
• Legal aspects of Aging
• Aging and sexuality

Assessment
• Functional Assessment
• Mental Health Assessment

Intervention
• Alternative therapies
• Coping with grief and loss
• Counseling Older Persons and families
• Communication skills
• Stress & Burnout
• Loss, Separation & Grief

Proposed Trainging program for care-givers

2011-07-28T22:16:00.000-07:00

Proposes Training program for Care-givers

Input one:

Eldercare: Perspectives on Aging parents and their adult sons and daughters.

Unput two:

Family caregiving changing roles and responsibilities.

Presented: Rev. Dr. Peter Abas

Proposed Training for care- givers

2011-07-26T20:46:00.000-07:00

ADAPTING WITH DIGNITY

Learning objectives:

Identify basic human needs & their impact on aging

Discuss changes that often accompany aging, vision, hearing, mobility and etc...

Identify & assess the individual's needs from multiple perspectives

Preserve self-esteem

Facilitator: Rev. Dr. Peter Abas

Why Drum used for therapy was vandalized?

2011-07-25T06:34:00.000-07:00

Why the Drum and the Monstrance?
Six months ago it was a sad morning for the parish priest at Holy Nativity Parish Terawi, Penampang when he found out that his hand-drum and a sacred monstrance were vandalized in the church sacristy.

As he walked down the aisle to celebrate the Holy Mass, his facial expression showed that he was very disappointed and confused with the whole situation. He ended his brief homily that morning, with this profound statement, “Only God knows the inner motive of this person who did this undesirable act.”

Three days prior to that incident, he spoke to a group of elderly individuals and their caregivers about how he utilized his hand-drum to rejuvenate the elderly individuals in his place of work in Rochester, New York.

When he lived there, many elderly individuals joined his group known as “Peaceful Rhythmic Hand Drumming.” One of his programs was known as the “Changes in our lives as told in the Wisdom of the Drums”; where he empowered every elderly person to beat the drum and eventually to share what their feelings were. On that day, he shared about his past session on “Wisdom of the Drums” and he quoted an elderly woman who said, “We can feel our “heartbeats” through the sound of the drums and we all have a sacred story to share.”

He said, “Even though my hand-drum has been vandalized, the memories of it bring tears to my eyes and pain to my heart.” The reason was because the peaceful rhythmic sound of this hand drum soothed many elderly individuals in the nursing home, independently living and in the hospital in Rochester, New York.” He concluded with humility and with a prayerful voice, “It is sad that this person who vandalized this drum did not know its healing power.”

Another unbearable incident that occurred at the same time of the incident with the drum was when Father Peter found out that the monstrance, which is a vessel in which the consecrated Host is exposed for the adoration of the faithful, was smashed. This monstrance was given by the Sisters of Mercy of the Americas of the Diocese of Rochester, New York just few weeks before Father Peter left for Malaysia. Father Peter was very upset with this incident and he said, “As if the hand drum was not enough, why was this sacred vessel, this monstrance, vandalized too?” With his empathetic voice, he concluded, “Let’s conquer evil with good.”

Until now the problem is left unsolved and still remains a mystery and an historic event in this newly inaugurated Holy Nativity Terawi Parish, Penampang.
Freelance Writer

Geriatric depression scale

2011-07-25T03:28:00.000-07:00

Choose the best answer for how you have felt over the past week:

1. Are you basically satisfied with your life? YES / NO

2. Have you dropped many of your activities and interests? YES / NO

3. Do you feel that your life is empty? YES / NO

4. Do you often get bored? YES / NO

5. Are you in good spirits most of the time? YES / NO

6. Are you afraid that something bad is going to happen to you? YES / NO

7. Do you feel happy most of the time? YES / NO

8. Do you often feel helpless? YES / NO

9. Do you prefer to stay at home, rather than going out and doing new things? YES / NO

10. Do you feel you have more problems with memory than most? YES / NO

11. Do you think it is wonderful to be alive now? YES / NO

12. Do you feel pretty worthless the way you are now? YES / NO

13. Do you feel full of energy? YES / NO

14. Do you feel that your situation is hopeless? YES / NO

15. Do you think that most people are better off than you are? YES / NO

....green, green..green...

2011-07-25T03:13:00.000-07:00

Environment with beautiful garden can make an elderly person to be more cheerful! We need more "Green Environment" be a lover of natural beauty of Green-green-green....

...harmony and joy.

2011-07-24T07:19:00.000-07:00

Peacefulness in the human heart and soul bring harmony and joy.

Loneliness the "Feeling of being incapable"

2011-07-06T10:58:00.000-07:00

Adrian states, "It is something hard to define, but the limitations in my capacity to be able to work create a lonely situation for me." Josephine almost echoes these thoughts by stating: "My slowness and incapability to perform my work is a kind of loneliness."

Loneliness is a kind of emptiness;...

2011-07-06T10:42:00.000-07:00

Sonia feels that "Loneliness is a kind of emptiness; an empty feeling of being alone and abandoned." She says, "When you have to depend on another person, or persons, that is depressing and annoying; not a good feeling."

Extract taken from Doctoral Dissertation, Abas 2007.

Arrived safely in Borneo

2011-07-04T09:31:00.000-07:00

Good bye Lancaster University UK and Good bye University of Rochester, NY. I arrived safely after 31 hours of flight!
Will be blogging soon, Jet-lag is hitting me now.

Vicky selects "A Garden of Flowers" as a metaphor

2011-07-01T06:29:00.000-07:00

Vicky selects a garden of flowers as a metaphor. She feels that flowers symbolizes and are the colors of life. However, she admits a garden of flowers also symbolizes the existence of resentment in her. The reason is that she logs to have a cheerful life. Vicky with her gentle voice, allows the interview to flow very well. Vicky eloborates that a garden of flowers always brightens her mood and makes her cheerful and happy.

Some Programs Designed by Rev. Dr. Peter Abas

2011-06-30T03:00:00.000-07:00

2004- present

Inter-generational Peaceful Hand drumming

1. To understand the use of hand drumming to enhance communication, concentration, listening skills, intimacy, and understanding of the self.

2. To gain some skills and techniques to work with elderly in how to encourage expression of feelings and increase socialization in the group process.

3. To give guidelines of specific approaches and strategies for maximizing participation, motivation and learning for older adults.

2005- present

Reminiscence Group with Elderly 65 and above)

(Reminiscence has a way of bringing people together, and this can be particularly useful in a group setting)

1. Promoting self understanding

2. Preserving personal and collective history

3. Transcending the material world and physical limitations

4. Allowing for identification of universal themes of humanity

5. Reinforcing coping mechanisms

2006- present

Sacred Stories - Healing Journeys for older adults (65 and above)

(An opportunity to express emotion in safe and supportive environments)

1. Enhancing sense of community among elders.

2. Creating and engaging positive experiences for elders.

3. Communicating the deep seated commitment to the spiritual being of elderly people.

2006-present

Vision of Hope - Partner in Healing (65 and above)

(An opportunity to identify and experience your personal “Vision of Hope” while journeying with others)

1. Emphasizing their strengths, not weaknesses.

2. Developing independence while diminishing dependence.

3. Encouraging decision making and action taking.

Help needed to build "Kahansanan Aging Gracefully Center

2011-06-28T04:15:00.000-07:00

Help needed to build "Kahansanan Aging Gracefully Center" in Borneo
This picture is only been used as a sample of how the "Kahansanan Aging Gracefully Center" will look like! I do hope when someone sees this dream project, he/she will be able to contribute their time/talents and treasures to this KAGC.
I need assistance to build this KAGC.

It also has an adult day care center, located within the vicinity. Adult day care can render caregivers respite by providing a center where elderly parents can be taken for a couple of hours or the entire day and picked back up later. The day programs include social activities, meals and general elderly supervision

Proposed Kahansanan Aging Gracefully Center in Borneo

2011-06-28T04:09:00.000-07:00

PROPOSED KAHANSANAN AGING GRACEFULLY CENTER IN BORNEO

About KAHANSANAN Aging Gracefully Center

Kahansanan Aging Gracefully Center (KAGC) is committed to providing information, guidance and services that help older adults take on both the challenges and opportunities of their well-being. We provide community and professional education. We also continue to do research on the issue of aging.
It also has an adult day care center, located within the vicinity. Adult day care can render caregivers respite by providing a center where elderly parents can be taken for a couple of hours or the entire day and picked back up later. The day programs include social activities, meals and general elderly supervision.

PROPOSED PROFESSIONAL EDUCATION
Professional Education
General Aspects
• Spirituality and Aging
• Aging and Sexuality
• Women & Men and Aging
• Nutrition and Aging
• Medications and Older Adults
• Economic Aspects of Aging
• Ethics and End of Life Decisions

Emotional, Physiological and Legal Aspects
• Emotional impact of caregiving
• Physiological aspects of Aging
• Legal aspects of Aging
• Aging and sexuality

Assessment
• Functional Assessment
• Mental Health Assessment

Intervention
• Alternative therapies
• Coping with grief and loss
• Counseling Older Persons and families
• Communication skills
• Stress & Burnout
• Loss, Separation & Grief

Loneliness in the Elderly

2011-06-28T03:49:00.001-07:00

By Amy Kotlarz/Catholic Courier

To get a handle on loneliness in the elderly, Father Peter Abas, parochial administrator at St. Anne Parish in Rochester, asked seniors he was counseling to describe their lives through art.
Together, they painted a picture. One woman contributed a cactus to the canvas.

“Life for her is a cactus -- so dry,” he said.

That was just one metaphor of many that seniors used to describe their lives to Father Abas as he researched his doctoral dissertation on how elderly individuals describe and interpret the experience of loneliness.

“Loneliness is the existence of a powerful void; the state of being overwhelmed with work and life; the state of emotional pain; and the state of no direction,” he said.

He earned his doctorate in education with a specialization in geriatric populations in December of 2007 from the University of Rochester’s Margaret Warner Graduate School of Education and Human Development. In addition to the doctorate, Father Abas also has three master’s degrees and has worked in a variety of fields, including youth ministry with street gangs in the Bronx. At St. Anne, Father Abas has led several initiatives for the elderly, including discussion groups and an intergenerational drum circle.

In January, Father Abas left to take a seven-week journey back to his native Borneo, where he grew up in the Malaysian state of Sabah. Speaking in an interview prior to his trip, he said he intends to continue his research by interviewing the elderly in Borneo as well. He said he plans to compare whether a different cultural background changes how people describe loneliness.

He said work on his doctorate “Loneliness and Lived Experiences of Elderly Individuals Living Independently: A Hermeneutic Phenomological Approach” took two years to complete. He recruited volunteers from throughout upstate New York who were 65 years and older and living independently. All were from different professional backgrounds, and his research subjects included a retired social worker, a retired English teacher and a retired professional truck driver.

Father Abas had the seniors describe their everyday lives, then he was able to interpret the meaning of the phrases they used and the words they said to him.

“I couldn’t jump to the conclusion of whether they were lonely or not,” Father Abas noted.

As he began to explore the theme of loneliness more, Father Abas asked people what they did when they were lonely, how they would explain the reason for their loneliness and how they would describe their experience with loneliness.

“Some of them found it easy to speak, and they were very open with their story,” Father Abas said. “Some found it really difficult.”

Although he was confronted with initial reluctance, Father Abas did have success when he asked the elderly to describe a favorite memory, which led to disclosures about loneliness.

“I could even see some of them really feel a burden in their lives,” he said.

Many used metaphors to describe their lives, such as a flowing river, a flower, a cross, a sunset, an oak tree, an entangled circle or a spinning top.

After a while, though, as participants continued meeting with Father Abas, some began to look at the world in more positive ways. For example, the person who described life as a flowing river amended the statement to say the river was not that treacherous.

“It’s flowing much better,” Father Abas recalled the person saying.

Sue Murty, director of social work at St. Ann’s Community in Rochester, said isolation and loneliness in the elderly can be caused by the loss of loved ones; the loss of independence, such as the loss of driving abilities; and the loss of physical abilities, such as hearing or mobility.

She said seniors often are reluctant to talk about being lonely, so neighbors and friends should keep watch for signs of changes in routine, reclusive behavior or depression. Another sign may be an eagerness to talk for a long time, she said. Friends and neighbors should begin asking questions if they see signs of loneliness, she noted.

“Start by saying, who else do you get support from? Are there other persons in your life?” Murty said.

Father Abas said other ways to cope with loneliness include having a strong faith, acknowledging the importance of prayer, accepting loss and coming to terms with the fact that a person is alone.

It also is important for seniors to take care of their health so that a loss of mobility does not isolate them, he said. Seniors also should consider the time and talents that they are able to give, and they should maintain social connections to counter loneliness.

“Within the church parish level, they can join a social-programming group or some involvement in their church,” Father Abas said.

Most importantly, seniors should turn to others if they are feeling isolated, he noted.

“The way to work through it is to ask for help from people,” Father Abas said.

Palliative Care vs. Hospice care

2011-06-27T19:52:00.000-07:00

Palliative Care vs. Hospice Care

Although the term "palliative care" is closely associated with hospice care, this type of care is not just for the dying. Palliative care is sometimes confused with hospice care since one of the main goals of hospice care is comfort and most hospice patients are dying. Here are the differences between palliative and hospice care:

Palliative Care

focus is on pain and symptom management

patient does not have to be terminal

may still be seeking aggressive treatment

Hospice

focus is on pain and symptoms management

patient has a terminal diagnosis with life expectancy of less than six months

not seeking curative treatment

In both hospice and palliative care, the focus is on quality of life of the patient. The goal for both types of care is to address any adjustment to illness or end-of-life issues.

Taken from: http://www.umm.edu/palliative/palliative_hospice.htm

Are we receiving and giving proper Palliative Care in Borneo Island, Sabah?

2011-06-27T19:31:00.000-07:00

Definitions
An Expert Committee of the World Health Organization in 2002 approved this revised definition of palliative care:
Palliative care is an approach that improves the quality of life of patients and their families facing the problems associated with life-threatening illness, through the prevention and relief of suffering by means of early identification and impeccable assessment and treatment of pain and other problems, physical, psychosocial and spiritual.

Palliative Care:
• provides relief from pain and other distressing symptoms
• affirms life and regards dying as a normal process
• intends neither to hasten or postpone death
• integrates the psychological and spiritual aspects of care
• offers a support system to help patients live as actively as possible until death
• offers a support system to help the family cope during the patient's illness and in their own bereavement
• uses a team approach to address the needs of patients and their families, including bereavement counseling, if indicated
• will enhance the quality of life, and may also positively influence the course of the illness
• is applicable early in the course of illness, in conjunction with other therapies that are intended to prolong life, such as chemotherapy or radiation therapy, and includes those investigations needed to better understand and manage distressing clinical complications

Workshop and Training Empowering the Caregivers of Older Adults

2011-06-26T19:04:00.000-07:00

Workshop outline:

a. Facts about caregiving: Who's involved and what's the cost?
b. Cultural perspective on caregiving.
c. Care burden: What it is and how to assess it.
d. Caregivers and the risk of abuse.
e. Crisis intervention applied to the caregiving experience

Trainer: Fr. Peter Abas

Date: August, 2011
Time:
Place: TBA

Dementia Awareness Training and Workshop

2011-06-25T14:16:00.000-07:00

DEMENTIA AWARENESS TRAINING AND WORKSHOP
The sessions are tailored to meet the needs of care professionals, managers, staff and volunteers or those who, as part of the role, need an understanding of Dementia and how it effects individuals.

Outline of workshop:

a. Dementia awareness

b. Responding to people with dementia

c. Enganging with people with dementia

Trainer: Fr. Peter Abas

Date: October, 2011
Venue: TBA

International Research Summer School 2011_LANCASTER UNIVERSITY, UK

2011-06-25T07:22:00.000-07:00

WEEK TWO (June 27 -July 2, 2011)

The purpose of the second week of the Summer School is to support students in their private study. Supervision will be given throughout the week with an opportunity for review and goal setting on the final day.

Students will meet each morning at 9.30 am in the International Observatory for End of Life Care Resource Room (Bowland South, room B225) to discuss and plan that day’s activities. There will be further opportunities to meet with other Lancaster University faculty for specific guidance and advice. Throughout the week there will be full access to the information resources of the International Observatory on End of Life Care and the University library.

We are grateful for the continued sponsorship of the Irish Hospice Foundation.

Workshop: Caring of the Elderly and Quality of Life Approach

2011-06-23T22:17:00.000-07:00

Title: Caring for the Elderly and Quality of Life Approach
Date: TBA
Time: 9:00am to 4:30pm
Venue: September, 2011

Trainer: Fr. Peter Abas

Workshop Outline:
a. Understand the caregiving role

b. Roles and responsibilities of care givers

c. Managing Elderly person's needs

Church Documents and teachings -END of LIFE-

2011-06-19T21:52:00.000-07:00

Church Documents and Teachings

Responses to Certain Questions Concerning Artificial Nutrition and Hydration, Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, August 1, 2007 (En Español)
Commentary on Nutrition and Hydration, Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, August 1, 2007 (En Español)
Address of John Paul II to the Participants in the International Congress on Life-Sustaining Treatments and the Vegetative State, March 20, 2004 (En Español)
Ethical and Religious Directives for Catholic Health Care Services, Fourth Edition, NCCB/USCCB, June 15, 2001
Statement on Euthanasia, USCCB, Administrative Committee, September 12, 1991
Declaration on Euthanasia , Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, May 5, 1980 (En Español )

cut and paste the link below ....

http://www.usccb.org/prolife/programs/rlp/2010/docs/hilliardpamphlet.pdf

Lancaster University UK

2011-06-19T21:40:00.000-07:00

Group of International participants from around the world who came to attend this course at Lancaster University.

Japan, Borneo, Germany, Uganda, Ireland, Spain, Greece, USA and UK.

International Observatory On End of Life Care

2011 International Research of Summer School

Research Sponsored by:

Irish Hospice Foundation
Lancaster University School of Health and Medicine

...intergenerational peaceful rhythmic ...

2011-04-28T09:20:00.001-07:00

PAPAR: It was a joyful and memorable day for the elderly residents of Holy Family Purak, Papar. On March 14 they were visited by a group of children from Maria Rani doh Kahansanan, Holy Nativity Church Terawi, Penampang, Sabah. The children arrived at 10:00am and were greeted by Sr. Patricia, FSIC who is currently serving and assisting the elderly residents. The children wore striking red Tshirts with the empowering slogan Save children from child sexual abuse.

This slogan was also a theme campaign for a special Holy Mass tto make people aware of child sexual abuse in this vicinity in November last year, a week after Fr P. Abas’ arrival from the USA. The children sang two songs which were much appreciated by the residents. One of the residents said, “These children are precious, take care of them.” In addition to entertaining the residents, the children were given information about the home for the elderly.

Sr. Clara, FSIC, gave the children a brief historical background about Holy Family Purak. Later, the children were given a guided tour around the residence. Fr Peter Abas who is the spiritual advisor of Children of Maria Rani doh Kahansanan stimulated the cognitive and emotional powers of the elderly residents by producing peaceful rhythmical beats on a drum.

He invited two elderly women to play the drum with him. Fr Abas had travelled around the USA for many years with his drums and drummed with many elderly individuals at different independent living residences for the elderly, and at nursing homes. While in Rochester, New York, Fr Abas earned his doctorate in gerontology and was a practitioner in Gerontology as Geriatric Consultant and Clinical Chaplain at the Sisters of Mercy of America’s independent living residence.

After almost seven years, his experiences led him to formulate some intervention programmes for the elderly. In addition, his active, humble and friendly personality helped the elderly to better mingle with each other. During his career he developed and founded an excellent way of nurturing the aged called Aging Gracefully. In July, 2009 in Paris, France, he presented and spoke at the World Conference of International Association of Gerontologist and Geriatrics.

It was then that he began to pursue his talent and interest in therapy by joining a special class in drumming. After acquiring drumming skills, he developed an interesting therapeutic theory that employs drumming in healing loneliness. Fr Peter Abas conducted a very short session with the elderly of Purak residence with an inspiring beat of a drum for the first time since his homecoming in early October 2010.

This article was published in Herald News on the 24/4/2011.

Proposed research work on aging in Borneo

2011-04-15T09:52:00.001-07:00

I am formulating my qualitative research on aging in Borneo. Any person who is interested to do a research on aging in Borneo, do not hesitate to contact me.
I am also in the midst of searching for some foreign grants to support my work. Anyone in USA, UK, Germany, Holland, Sweden, Japan, China and other countries can be a help to me?

...precious face of an elderly woman

2011-04-10T08:56:00.000-07:00

It is never too late to show love and gentleness to this wonderful elderly woman.

...helping hands

2011-04-09T21:51:00.000-07:00

"A big heart with a small head"

...it works, I feel relax...

2011-04-07T20:51:00.000-07:00

Their hands produced the expression of their inner feeling!

...intergenerational outreach...caring for the Elderly Individuals

2011-04-06T18:30:00.000-07:00

Children with joy watching two elderly women playing the drum with Rev. Dr. Peter Abas.

...Aging Gracefully....Peaceful Rhythmic in Boreno

2011-04-06T18:25:00.000-07:00

Finally the sound of the sacred drum is in Borneo Island. Residents of Holy Family, Purak beating the drum with Rev. Dr. Peter Abas

..updates where I am situated now...

2011-03-22T19:37:00.000-07:00

Holy Nativity Terawi Inaugurated As 17th Parish In KK Archdiocese

TERAWI(CSOnline).- Holy Nativity Terawi was inaugurated as the 17th parish in Kota Kinabalu Archdiocese Dec 18 with Fr Peter Abas as its rector and Dony Julli as chairman of its parish pastoral council.

The erection of Sandakan Diocese in 2007 has left the archdiocese with 16 parishes.

In his address to the faithful coming from the communities of Holy Nativity Terawi, St Simon Duvanson, St Peter Tombovo and Our Lady of Fatima Talang Taun (making up the new parish), Archbishop John Lee said that "with the inauguration of the new parish, the four communities will come under the pastoral care of a parish priest and will move as one towards the realisation of the Vision of the Archdiocese."

The communities, he added, will have to constantly remind themselves that they are now under Terawi Parish, not Penampang.

The "first aspect the bishop looks at is the "maturity aspect," he continued.

That means, the prelate explained, that the new parish community is ready and willing to take responsibility for the growth to maturity of its members' faith life.

He further illustrated this when, before the final blessing, he called all the children present to the sanctuary.

He told the parents and lay leaders that the community's growth to maturity is seen in the growth in faith in their children's lives.

If, the prelate said, they don't want to see their children to change their faith when they grow up, then they must take care of nurturing their faith through their witness of life.

They will also have to look into the various aspects of community building and he opined that "if every Catholic family lives a Christ-centred life, the union of heart and mind with families around them will begin."

To mark the historic occasion, the prelate unveiled a commemorative plaque at the church entrance before Mass began.

After the Mass and speeches, the prelate, together with his concelebrants, Msgr Primus Jouil and Fr Peter Abas, joined the children in praying for the parish at the Shrine of Mary, Mother of Hope, in front of the church.

Then all adjourned to the parish hall for dinner, presentation of souvenirs, slide presentation on the hiartstory of the parish and group presentations from the different communities.

The emergence of Holy Nativity Catholic Community dates back to August 1977 under the administrative umbrella of Penampang Parish Council.

The five-acre site is situated between Donggongon and Putatan township and placed under Zone 8.

It has an overall population of 12,000 with 7,290 Catholics, mostly Kadazans.

When it was formed, it served seven villages: Monsopiad (1979), Mahandoi (1979), Tuaui (1977), Kanadaru (1977), Bukitas (1977), Sukod (1979) and Talang Taun (1982).

The first church building was built in 1978 and blessed by Bishop Simon Fung on 22 April 1979.

The present building, built in 1993 and costing about RM700,000.00 can seat about 800 people.

Its hall, built in 1999, has a 1,000-seating capacity with three badminton courts, a canteen, a conference room, a documentation room, and offices for various committees (pastoral, finance, catechetical and youth) with built-in PA sytem.

The community has also built a two-bedroom rectory equipped with modern amenities.

One of the features of the new parish is its sacred garden which is inhabited by the Marian Grotto (1994) and the Mother of Hope Shrine (2010) with selected tree species and herbal plants.

Vocationwise, Terawi Parish has so far the most fertile soil.

The first rector, Fr Peter Abas, 50, is also its first local priest hailing from Talang Taun.

Ordained priest on 2 Feb 1986, he has served in Kiulu, Tuaran (1986-1989); St Peter's College Kuching (1994-1997) and in the United States of America (1997-2010).

Other ordained diocesan priests from Terawi Parish are Fr Alex Jimsy Julius of Kg Mahandoi,49 (ordained 1995), Fr Nicholas Stephen Tinsung of Kg Monsopiad, 43 (1997) and Fr Simon Kontou of Kg Duvanson, 46 (1997).

Currently, two young men undergoing seminary formation in St Peter's College Kuching are Tony Bingkuan of Mahandoi, 26, and Herman Menjuan of Duvanson, 30, while Hilary Rovellin of Monsopiad, 24, has just finished his Initiation Year in KK.

...reaching out to you all...

2011-03-22T19:26:00.000-07:00

Terawi Celebrates 3-in-1 Event

TERAWI(CS).- February 2 was a red-letter day for Terawi parishioners as they celebrated a three-in-one event.

In conjunction with its parish priest's silver jubilee of priestly ordination the parish marked it with the crowning of the statue of Mary Mother of Hope as Mary Queen of Hope and the launching of the priest's fourth musical album.

Father Peter Abas built the first grotto to Mary Mother of Hope at St Joseph Kiulu 25 years ago when he was assigned there after his priestly ordination at St Michael Penampang.

However, the statue was replaced by another statue since then so when he was assigned to Terawi as its first resident priest last year, he was determined to restructure a simple shrine for her on the parish sacred ground where the parishioners can pray to her daily.

The statue wears a cloak resembling the Kadazandusun traditional attire to symbolise her presence in the midst of the Kadazandusun people.

The launching of the priest's fourth album Iziau noh Pinihi took place after Communion.

His last album Kotohuadan Oi Tuhan was released in 1992.

In his homily Fr Abas urged all parents to nurture their children with confining and subjecting them to high expectations.

He also stressed on the need to be alert against child sexual abuse and to help the children to learn how to pray and know Mary as the Mother of Hope.

In knowing Mother Mary, the children will be nurtured to become lovers of the Eucharist and the Word of God.

He said that more and more children have come to pray at the grotto of the Immaculate Conception and of Mary Mother of Hope.

...any fund to support this project?

2011-03-06T13:26:00.000-08:00

I am currently living in Sabah now. I am trying to start my research work on the elderly individuals and theirs caregivers.

..age does not stop her...

2011-03-05T07:32:00.000-08:00

An elderly woman weaving in the longhouse. Age does not stop her from doing the weaving.

Launching the New Spiritual Album

2011-03-03T06:56:00.000-08:00

Finally the Fourth Album was launched on Jan 28, 2011.
It was a joyful day!

Called to Eternal Life

2011-02-27T15:05:00.000-08:00

24 February 2011

Called to Eternal Life

Father Joseph Dapoz mhm, 90, passed away peacefully in his sleep Feb 22 at Holy Family Residence for Senior Citizens, Purak Papar. Born in Wengen Tyrol Austria on 9 Nov 1920, he was ordained for the Diocese of Brixen on 29 June 1944. He entered the Mill Hill Missionary Society in London in 1947 and came to North Borneo in May 1948. He served in various parishes in Limbahau, Papar, Penampang, Inanam, Keningau, Toboh, Tambunan, Tuaran, Kepayan and Tanjung Aru. He retired from active ministry in 1995 and resided at Holy Family Residence Papar where he died in the early hours of February 22. His funeral will be on Sat Feb 26 at 8:30 am at the Sacred Heart Cathedral Kota Kinabalu. He will be buried at the Catholic Cemetery at Mile 4.5 Jalan Penampang Lama.

Sister Agnes Wong Yun Kyau fsic, 82, passed away peacefully at Stella Maris Home Feb 22 at the Stella Maris Home for Retired Sisters Tanjung Aru. Born on 15 Feb 1929 in Papar, she entered the Congregation of the Franciscan Sisters of the Immaculate Conception on 11 Feb 1952. She made her first religious profession on 11 Feb 1954 and took her final vows on 11 Feb 1959. She was posted in various places and retired from active ministry in 1999 and resided at the Stella Maris Home until her death on Feb 22. Her funeral will be on Thursday Feb 24 at 10:30 am at Stella Maris Church Tanjung Aru. She will be buried at the Catholic Cemetery at Mile 4.5 Jalan Penampang Lama.

His smile is just very inspiring

2011-02-27T08:15:00.000-08:00

While trying to repair his fishing net, he smiled with joy!

It is a joy when someone cares!

2011-02-26T21:41:00.000-08:00

Age is only a number when someone cares for the elderly, life can be more positive.

How do we describe and interpret this facial expression?

2011-02-25T02:15:00.000-08:00

A wonderful smile How do we describe and interpret this wonderful facial expression?

Being with friends, she was able to smile on that day!

...continue to love and care...

2011-02-23T16:49:00.000-08:00

Having the ability to feed himself is still a joy. However the quality of life of a human person will be more meaningful if only we continue to love and care him/her.

"I am happy to be here"

2011-02-23T16:42:00.000-08:00

"I am happy to be here" -Ounsikou zou nokoikot zou doiti-

"The elderly individuals need companions too!
Do not isolate them from the society!" - Abas, Feb 12, 2011

Music makes the elderly individuals alive again!

2011-02-23T01:32:00.000-08:00

Launching the fourth spiritual album CD "Iziau Noh ii Pinihi" -You are the Chosen One-
Enjoy listening!
One English spiritual was recording in this CD.

...quality time!

2011-02-23T01:28:00.000-08:00

Giving the quality time to the elderly person is always a joy!
Let us continue to give them Love and Acceptance in our community.

Faith with good work

2011-02-21T17:55:00.000-08:00

The culture of love! are we able to care for our elderly parents? It might be difficult and challenging but we need to respect their "Human Dignity"
Picture taken after the Mass Service -Pastoral Care of the Sick- Feb, 12. 2011, Borneo.

Pastoral Care for the elderly Individuals-Borneo

2011-02-21T17:45:00.000-08:00

At least I am back again to pursue with my blogging. I managed to get this internet connection now. However due to the bad weather, connection can be very bad.
Picture taken during the anointing of the sick or "World day of Prayer for the sick."

Elderly Individuals in Borneo

2010-11-10T12:55:00.000-08:00

A man making a fishing net!

An elderly woman weaving fabric material.

A simple and humble life!

How do the elderly individuals in Borneo describe and interpret loneliness?

2010-10-14T19:39:00.000-07:00

I am in the process of recruiting "informers" or "participants" for my comparative research on how elderly individuals in Borneo describe and interpret loneliness?
This study will examine and generate an in-depth understanding of loneliness as experienced by eight individuals (65 years and above) living independently.
I will compare these future findings to the findings of my doctoral dissertation which was defended in 2007 at the University of Rochester, NY.

Loneliness and Lived experiences of Elederly Individuals Living Independnetly: Hermeneutic Phenomenological Approach

2010-10-13T22:21:00.000-07:00

Peter Abas, L.S.L., M.R.E., M.A., & Ed.D

Loneliness id a pervasive human experience. It is a subjective experience that is influenced by one's personality ans situational variables. Loneliness has been recognized as a public health problem that requires the attention of clinicians and researchers both as a condition in itself and its relationship to other conditions.

The study examined and generated and in-depth understanding of loneliness as experienced by eight individuals (65 years and above) living independently. A hermeneutic-phenomenological approach was used to describe and to interpret the meaning of loneliness in the lived experience of elderly individuals. These interpretations were made possible through the support of the incidental themes, which were formulated by the participants' descriptions of their experiences of loneliness.

Through interpretation, four themes emerged from explanations of how the elderly individuals interpreted loneliness. First, the participant experienced the existence of a painful void. Second, the participants experienced a state of being overwhelmed with work and emotion. Third, participants experienced a state of emotional pain. Fourth, the participant experienced a state of no direction.

These findings affirmed that negative feelings were associated with loneliness according to the participants' descriptions. Understanding the common themes and meanings of the lived experience of these elderly individuals provides an effective base for the therapeutic relationship between counselor and the elder. The strengths and limitations of the study, and significant implications of the findings and future research, practice and education in counseling, were identified.

Vicky describes...

2010-10-13T22:14:00.000-07:00

Vicky selects a garden of flowers as metaphor. She feels that flowers symbolize happiness and are colors of life. However, she admits a garden of flowers aslo symbolizes the existence of resentment in her. The reason is that she longs to have cheerful life. Vicky with her gentle voice, allows to flow very well. Vicky elaborates that the a garden of flowers alwyas brightens her mood and makes her cheerful and happy. She was comfortable exploring each question and cofidently answered questions posed to her.

She describes, "I think it (loneliness) is more like emptiness. So right there and then I have covered half the day. so even if I do not have any plans to go our for the rest of the day. the spiritual experience and the contact with people gives a lift. That even if that kind of empty feeling comes along and I feel lonely, later in the day; I have built the foundation in the morning for my day."

Venture to Borneo-To all my american friends-

2010-10-12T11:35:00.000-07:00

Situated in the northern district of Kudat, the heartland of the Rungus people, Maranjak Homestay was developed by a family, which have come together for a community project to share their lifestyle and culture with visitors. The journey to Kudat (about 130 kilometers from Kota Kinabalu) will take about two and half hours, cruising the Land Below The Wind with rice field and magnificent mountain sight along the way. Maranjak Homestay began welcoming visitors to the longhouse in the village of Bavanggazo in 2002.

Arrived safely in Borneo- WOW-

2010-10-12T05:06:00.000-07:00

Pepper and bananas plantation of Borneo.

The 24 hours of flight was very challenging, I safely arrived and landed on Borneo Island. Nonetheless, my two luggages were misplaced and I arrived without my belongings. Today at 7.00 pm, I received a call from the airport informing me that my two luggages have just arrived from Korea.

My jet-lag caused stomach upset!

I will continue to blog again. I am missing you all Rochesterians!

Kotohuadan & Till we meet again!

2010-10-09T20:42:00.000-07:00

It was a mixed feeling of joy and sadness on Sunday (10/3/2010), it was my farewell and thanksgiving mass at St. Cecilia Church. There were many parishioners who attended the Holy Mass.
Thank you for your kindness and generosity.
I am on my way home to Borneo!................................

...Borneo my homeland!

2010-09-30T11:28:00.000-07:00

Today was my last day of ministry at the Sister of Mercy of Americas. Being in the Mercy Mother house was a blessing and to have ministered the elderly individuals (Religious sisters, priests and laity) in residence at the Center was a great joy.

After the Holy Mass today the residents gave the blessing to me as a sign of sending off:

Father Peter,
your gifts have opened us
to the wonderful riches of a culture
far different from our own.
You have reached out with an open heart
to the gifts of our culture
and especially of our aging population.
We are grateful for your faith ministry to us.
You care and compassion are inspiring.

As you make your way back to Borneo,
we ask Our Lady of Peace to accompany you.
May God deepend your faith and your prayer
so that wherever you go
and whatever you do,
you will continue to be guided by the Holy Spirit.
May the blessing of God be upon you
as you minister in your new parish
and among the people of Borneo.
May you enrich their lives
as you have enriched ours.

Father Peter,
Our Prayer for you is the song that you have taught us:

May the blessing of the Lord be upon you
we bless you in the name of the Lord (2x)

May the Love of the Lord be upon you
we bless you in the name of the Lord (2x)

May the Hope of the Lord be upon you
we bless you in the name of the Lord(2x)

...aging gracefully...99th

2010-09-24T05:27:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was Helen 99th Birthday! What a joy for her and her family. God bless you Helen.

Happy 92 Birthday to you

2010-09-21T13:19:00.000-07:00

Sister Virginia Wilson, RSM celebrated her 92...today! What a gift of life. God bless you sister and many more years!

...a long process to see the fruit!

2010-09-15T11:13:00.000-07:00

Successfully produced two DVD!

...shamrock was singing...

2010-09-15T11:10:00.000-07:00

Sister De Paul told me today that her bird Shamrock was happily singing yesterday evening.
Sister has shamrock as her beloved pet for almost five years.

Big smile for her birthday!

2010-09-15T11:06:00.000-07:00

Today is Sister Dorothy Schlueter's 92 birthday. God bless you sister!

A sister with many talents! Happy Birthday

2010-09-15T10:46:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was Sister M. Poole's 78th Birthday.
Many more blessings to you, Sister.

Blessed Feast Day Sister Ruth

2010-09-08T12:12:00.000-07:00

Today is Sister Ruth's Feast day. "It is the Nativity of our Blessed Mary."
We sang "May the Blessing of the Lord" to her as a blessing on this wonderful occasion.

...another description and interpretation?

2010-09-07T11:48:00.000-07:00

Another chance to describe and to interpret this painting?

....?

2010-09-07T11:45:00.000-07:00

Seeing this painting what is your description and interpretation of it?

...tranquility of the inner-self produces the peacefulness sound...

2010-09-07T11:36:00.000-07:00

Sisters of Mercy Motherhouse residents prove they don't miss a beat

By Amy Kotlarz/Catholic Courier

BRIGHTON -- The monthly drum circle at the Sisters of Mercy Motherhouse starts early, allowing the sound of drums to reverberate to the floors above and below.

"Why don’t we just play and wake up the others?" Father Peter Abas, motherhouse chaplain and sacramental minister at Henrietta's Guardian Angels Parish, jokingly suggested to those gathered for the November session.

Father Abas, who began leading the motherhouse’s drum circle several months ago, headed around the room passing out drums, maracas and other percussion instruments big and small to the group of elderly sisters, priests and laypeople.

Once all had instruments, Father Abas suggested they warm up, and he clapped out a beat with his hands. On his cue, participants joined in with taps, booms, bangs and clangs. Father Abas then added a more complex rhythm, and Sister Margaret Caufield, a retired music teacher, created a melody from her perch at the piano.

The din came to a prompt close when Father Abas counted "4-3-2-1," and then the jokes started.

"We can make a lot of money if we go for a concert," the priest quipped.

Yet unlike many other musical groups, this drum circle is an end unto itself. Father Abas, who has led several other area drum circles, noted its therapeutic aspects: It helps people relax, gives them energy, and allows them to vent frustrations and express their talents. At the outset, he said, some of the participants seemed weak, but after even one session of drumming, they appeared to be invigorated.

To illustrate this point, during a break in the music Father Abas asked the 80- and 90-year-old participants how they felt.

"Oh, about 25," one sister responded.

"I want to get up and dance," said Sister Mary Carmella Coene, who will turn 100 on Dec. 21. During the circle, she vigorously hit a bass drum as tall as the seat on her wheelchair.

After the drumming session Father Abas pointed out that many of the circle’s participants live in the motherhouse’s dementia unit.

"This is the first time I have done it (a drum circle) in a residence and with some in a state of Alzheimer’s or dementia," he noted.

To help them get the full benefit of the circle, he gently encouraged participants who were reluctant to pick up an instrument and try drumming. For example, one sister who was wheeled to the circle tried to turn down the offer of a drum.

"I don’t want any," she said. "I don’t want to make noise."

"Today, you are not making noise, you are producing noise," Father Abas remarked as he handed her a drum.

Other participants said they are sold on the circle and on Father Abas.

"I think Father’s spirit is so wonderful," Sister Mary Jude Rockenbrock said.

"You don’t have to do it exactly, and you don’t have to be musical," Sister Rita Biel remarked.

"When you really get going, you can feel the other people take over," said Father David Doerner, a former missionary to Japan who participated in the circle.

The communal nature of the circle is one reason why Sister Caufield, the piano player, said she pines to be back in its midst.

"One hour of piano playing at my age is difficult," said Sister Caufield, who taught at Rochester's St. Andrew and St. John the Evangelist schools.

But if it is difficult, Sister Caufield doesn’t let on. As participants call out the names of songs from the patriotic ("God Bless America"), to the nostalgic ("You are my Sunshine"), to the seasonal ("Santa Claus is Coming to Town"), she pulled the melodies from her memory.

Some sisters joined in singing the songs. Sister Caufield’s biological sister, Sister Ann Caufield, said it's clear that people find it fun to be a part of the circle.

"By the looks on their faces, everybody seems to enjoy it," she observed.

Loneliness vs. Solitude

2010-09-03T04:36:00.000-07:00

Loneliness vs. Solitude

Loneliness is inner emptiness.
Solitude is inner fulfillment.
- Richard J. Foster

+ Just like two summer peaches,
loneliness and solitude
can often appear to be the same;
however, don’t be deceived.
One is bursting with sweetness
while the other is rotting away.
Lord,
teach us the grace of solitude. +

...Will there be a place for Creative Therapy Sessions in Borneo?

2010-09-02T04:35:00.000-07:00

The possibility of introducing "Creative Therapy Sessions: Harmonizing Sacred Drumming, Arts and Reflective Discussion" for the Elderly Care in Borneo. I had conducted many sessions in Rochester, NY and I am confident that this Creative Therapy Sessions will find a place in Borneo.

A beautiful painting produced by Late Joan Hull. She did this painting while she was doing the program with me " Integrated Individual Therapy: Harmonize Through Sacred Drumming, Art and Reflective Discussion.

It is never too late to come together! You will be surprised that by playing together you will be able to feel the "peacefulness of your inner-self."

...I obtained my doctorate from UOR!

2010-09-01T04:31:00.000-07:00

River Campus:
500 Joseph C. Wilson Blvd.
Rochester, NY 14627

Medical Center:
601 Elmwood Ave.
Rochester, NY 14642

Eastman School:
26 Gibbs St.
Rochester, NY 14604

Maps | Directions | Parking

The University of Rochester's River Campus and Medical Center are located approximately one mile south of downtown Rochester and 15 miles south of Lake Ontario, in upstate New York.

Schedule a Campus Visit/Interview

For prospective students and parents, the best way to learn about Rochester is to visit. Almost everyone attends an information session and takes a tour. You can also interview with an admissions officer, talk to current students, and visit academic departments and labs

...hard work!

2010-09-01T04:24:00.000-07:00

The real fruit of hard work!
Doctors graduated from University of Rochester, 08!

...many voices...

2010-08-31T11:02:00.000-07:00

With each successive meeting, the group is more in tune with other and themselves. the drumming is more harmonious. The discussions pour out more sharing. The paintings become more vivid. Father explains, "Everyone is speaking, everyone is heard, and each person's sound unique. We can feel our "heart-beats" through the sound of the drums and we all have a sacred story to share." , Abas -2009 Charism Newsletter.

Keep on moving the brush and it produces wonderful "product" and this is the sample of work done by 18 persons who took part at the workshop on" Integrated Group Therapy: Sacred Drumming, Arts and Reflective Discussion."

..team work...

2010-08-31T05:08:00.000-07:00

Let continue to work as a team!

...ting..ting...ting, ting, ting...ting ting ting ting

2010-08-31T04:55:00.000-07:00

Guess what are these?
Little bells I tied around my ankles when I am doing the drumming!