Saturday, August 9, 2008
"uh! that is me...emptiness!
While approaching the table to get a cup of coffee, someone stopped me and asked, "how are you doing today?" I happily responded, "I am fine thank you and I asked her how about you?"....pause..."well, it is kind of hard to say...pause...finally she echoed, "uh! that is me...emptiness!" Kind of interesting to know in-depth about the word-"emptiness" what her interpretation of the word? and how it is relevant to her present life. ?
"Am I having my senior moment?"
"Yes, ten years ago I was....(hmmm...) I could not remember, uh! am I having a senior moment?" A 86 years old woman was trying to tell me the places she had visited but was unable to recall it. Nonetheless, she said this, "enjoy the precious moment of you life, while you are young." She gently walked with a cane as she smiled to me. What a joy to have an opportunity to be nurtured with the "words of wisdom" from a senior citizen.
Friday, August 8, 2008
"It is an old body with a new heart"
This soft-spoken man said, "every friday I am here to volunteer at this Bingo evening. It is very rewarding and meeting new people is a joy to me. I am 79 years old and fortunately, I am still capable to do this volunteer work." He added by saying, "It is an old body with a new heart." What a joy to see a dedicated person who continues to serve others in the community.
"Go with the flow of the water in river"
Seeing this person, a woman 86 years old sitting quitely alone the corridor of the recreation room, I greeted and asked her. "What is new happening under the sun?" She replied, "Go with the flow of the water in the river."
This sentence inspired me to stop and continued to listen to her. "Life needs to go on inspite of the difficulties in life" she added. She was very positive about her life. I was very touched with her inspiring words. It makes me to ponder, to meditate, to reflect and to discern the beauty of God's Love. John 3:16.
This sentence inspired me to stop and continued to listen to her. "Life needs to go on inspite of the difficulties in life" she added. She was very positive about her life. I was very touched with her inspiring words. It makes me to ponder, to meditate, to reflect and to discern the beauty of God's Love. John 3:16.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Reaching out.....
Professional Presentations
Workshop Presentations:
Oct 12-14, 2006 North Atlantic Regional Association for Counselor Education and Supervision, Lake George, New York
Co-Presenter: Understanding Geriatric Depression.
Co-Presenter: Aging and Opportunity: New Trails to Blaze in Gerontological Counselor Education.
Presented: Tapping into the Rhythm of Life: Drumming, Empathy and the Elderly.
Sept 29-30, 2006 New York Counseling Association, Saratoga Spring, New York
Presented: 1st Century Wave of Challenges and Opportunities Counseling the Elderly.
June 13-17, 2006 33rd Annual Organizational Behavior Teaching Conference in Rochester, New York.
Presented: Diversity, Unity, and Harmony: Realizing human potential with the heartbeat of drums.
April 28-30, 2006 New York Mental Health Counselor Association Convention in Albany, New York
Presented: Rhythmic Art: Counselor Creates Empathy with Elderly Individuals in Group Counseling Through Rhythmic Hand Drumming.
March 5-8, 2006 Southern Gerontological Society Conference in Lexington, Kentucky
Presented: Integrating peaceful drumming in reminiscence group with elderly individuals.
Feb 9-12, 2006 32nd Annual Meeting and Educational Leadership Conference, Indianapolis, Indiana
Presented: Rhythmic Art: Counselors Creates Empathy with Elderly Through Peaceful Rhythmic Hand Drumming.
Nov 4-6, 2005 New York State School Counseling Association, Rochester, New York
Presented: Challenges and Opportunities Counseling Asian Americans Students.
Oct 14-16, 2005 Multicultural Convocation, Nazareth College, Rochester, New Yor.k
Presented: Challenges and Opportunities: Ministering Asian Pacific Americans.
March 3-6, 2005 American Association at the For Geriatric Psychiatry 18th Annual Scientific Meeting, San Diego, CA
Presented a 30 minutes session on the topic: Understanding and Counseling Elderly Experiencing Loneliness and Depression
Nov 19-23, 2004 57th Annual Scientific Meeting, The Gerontological Society of America, Washington, DC
Presented an Open Referred Roundtable topic: Understanding and Counseling Elderly Experiencing Loneliness and Depression
Workshop Presentations:
Oct 12-14, 2006 North Atlantic Regional Association for Counselor Education and Supervision, Lake George, New York
Co-Presenter: Understanding Geriatric Depression.
Co-Presenter: Aging and Opportunity: New Trails to Blaze in Gerontological Counselor Education.
Presented: Tapping into the Rhythm of Life: Drumming, Empathy and the Elderly.
Sept 29-30, 2006 New York Counseling Association, Saratoga Spring, New York
Presented: 1st Century Wave of Challenges and Opportunities Counseling the Elderly.
June 13-17, 2006 33rd Annual Organizational Behavior Teaching Conference in Rochester, New York.
Presented: Diversity, Unity, and Harmony: Realizing human potential with the heartbeat of drums.
April 28-30, 2006 New York Mental Health Counselor Association Convention in Albany, New York
Presented: Rhythmic Art: Counselor Creates Empathy with Elderly Individuals in Group Counseling Through Rhythmic Hand Drumming.
March 5-8, 2006 Southern Gerontological Society Conference in Lexington, Kentucky
Presented: Integrating peaceful drumming in reminiscence group with elderly individuals.
Feb 9-12, 2006 32nd Annual Meeting and Educational Leadership Conference, Indianapolis, Indiana
Presented: Rhythmic Art: Counselors Creates Empathy with Elderly Through Peaceful Rhythmic Hand Drumming.
Nov 4-6, 2005 New York State School Counseling Association, Rochester, New York
Presented: Challenges and Opportunities Counseling Asian Americans Students.
Oct 14-16, 2005 Multicultural Convocation, Nazareth College, Rochester, New Yor.k
Presented: Challenges and Opportunities: Ministering Asian Pacific Americans.
March 3-6, 2005 American Association at the For Geriatric Psychiatry 18th Annual Scientific Meeting, San Diego, CA
Presented a 30 minutes session on the topic: Understanding and Counseling Elderly Experiencing Loneliness and Depression
Nov 19-23, 2004 57th Annual Scientific Meeting, The Gerontological Society of America, Washington, DC
Presented an Open Referred Roundtable topic: Understanding and Counseling Elderly Experiencing Loneliness and Depression
"There is a boy somewhere hungry"
While I was passing by this table, I saw this person was staring at her food on the table while her right hand was trying to move the first scoop of food into her mouth. I stopped and asked her, "What are you eating today?" She replied, "the food is too much for me" and "there is a boy hungry somewhere at this moment. " She feels very bad eating the delicious food, meanwhile knowing someone is hungry somewhere. She is 98 years old but still very sensitive of others' needs. What a blessing to know someone at this age, she is still very concern of poverty existing around the world. It can be very interesting to delve in-depth with this person lived experiences.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
My 10 minutes with her, made her smile
It was a crowded dining hall, people were busy enjoying their food served for the lunch. I walked in and saw this person (103 years old) sitting down with her head staring on the dining table. I approached and greeted, "How are you today?" With her eyes opened and accompanied with a beautiful smile, she responded, "I am doing fine and what about you?" I responded, "I am doing very good today." With a smile, she said, "I like the mushroom soup today."
If we mean what we are really saying to others, the words can brighten their days. Let us not forget to give some positive words to one another even though we are busy in our own world. Time is very precious but just by stopping for few minutes to say "hello, how are you, and how is the day going?" can make a person's life brighter and cheerful.
If we mean what we are really saying to others, the words can brighten their days. Let us not forget to give some positive words to one another even though we are busy in our own world. Time is very precious but just by stopping for few minutes to say "hello, how are you, and how is the day going?" can make a person's life brighter and cheerful.
Monday, August 4, 2008
"Life for her is a cactus--so dry," he said.
Studies loneliness in the elderly
To get a handle on loneliness in the elderly, Father Peter Abas, parochial administrator at St. Anne Parish in Rochester, asked seniors he was counseling to describe their lives through art. Together, they painted a picture. One woman contributed a cactus to the canvas. “Life for her is a cactus -- so dry,” he said.
That was just one metaphor of many that seniors used to describe their lives to Father Abas as he researched his doctoral dissertation on how elderly individuals describe and interpret the experience of loneliness.“Loneliness is the existence of a powerful void; the state of being overwhelmed with work and life; the state of emotional pain; and the state of no direction,” he said.He earned his doctorate in education with a specialization in geriatric populations in December of 2007 from the University of Rochester’s Margaret Warner Graduate School of Education and Human Development.
In addition to the doctorate, Father Abas also has three master’s degrees and has worked in a variety of fields, including youth ministry with street gangs in the Bronx. At St. Anne, Father Abas has led several initiatives for the elderly, including discussion groups and an intergenerational drum circle.In January, Father Abas left to take a seven-week journey back to his native Borneo, where he grew up in the Malaysian state of Sabah.
Speaking in an interview prior to his trip, he said he intends to continue his research by interviewing the elderly in Borneo as well. He said he plans to compare whether a different cultural background changes how people describe loneliness.He said work on his doctorate “Loneliness and Lived Experiences of Elderly Individuals Living Independently: A Hermeneutic Phenomological Approach” took two years to complete. He recruited volunteers from throughout upstate New York who were 65 years and older and living independently. All were from different professional backgrounds, and his research subjects included a retired social worker, a retired English teacher and a retired professional truck driver.
Father Abas had the seniors describe their everyday lives, then he was able to interpret the meaning of the phrases they used and the words they said to him.“I couldn’t jump to the conclusion of whether they were lonely or not,” Father Abas noted.As he began to explore the theme of loneliness more, Father Abas asked people what they did when they were lonely, how they would explain the reason for their loneliness and how they would describe their experience with loneliness.“Some of them found it easy to speak, and they were very open with their story,”
Father Abas said. “Some found it really difficult.”Although he was confronted with initial reluctance, Father Abas did have success when he asked the elderly to describe a favorite memory, which led to disclosures about loneliness.“I could even see some of them really feel a burden in their lives,” he said.Many used metaphors to describe their lives, such as a flowing river, a flower, a cross, a sunset, an oak tree, an entangled circle or a spinning top. After a while, though, as participants continued meeting with Father Abas, some began to look at the world in more positive ways.
For example, the person who described life as a flowing river amended the statement to say the river was not that treacherous.“It’s flowing much better,” Father Abas recalled the person saying.Sue Murty, director of social work at St. Ann’s Community in Rochester, said isolation and loneliness in the elderly can be caused by the loss of loved ones; the loss of independence, such as the loss of driving abilities; and the loss of physical abilities, such as hearing or mobility.She said seniors often are reluctant to talk about being lonely, so neighbors and friends should keep watch for signs of changes in routine, reclusive behavior or depression. Another sign may be an eagerness to talk for a long time, she said. Friends and neighbors should begin asking questions if they see signs of loneliness, she noted.“Start by saying, who else do you get support from? Are there other persons in your life?” Murty said.
Father Abas said other ways to cope with loneliness include having a strong faith, acknowledging the importance of prayer, accepting loss and coming to terms with the fact that a person is alone.It also is important for seniors to take care of their health so that a loss of mobility does not isolate them, he said. Seniors also should consider the time and talents that they are able to give, and they should maintain social connections to counter loneliness.“Within the church parish level, they can join a social-programming group or some involvement in their church,” Father Abas said.Most importantly, seniors should turn to others if they are feeling isolated, he noted.“The way to work through it is to ask for help from people,” Father Abas said.
(Publication Date: 02-28-2008) By Amy Kotlarz/Catholic Courier
To get a handle on loneliness in the elderly, Father Peter Abas, parochial administrator at St. Anne Parish in Rochester, asked seniors he was counseling to describe their lives through art. Together, they painted a picture. One woman contributed a cactus to the canvas. “Life for her is a cactus -- so dry,” he said.
That was just one metaphor of many that seniors used to describe their lives to Father Abas as he researched his doctoral dissertation on how elderly individuals describe and interpret the experience of loneliness.“Loneliness is the existence of a powerful void; the state of being overwhelmed with work and life; the state of emotional pain; and the state of no direction,” he said.He earned his doctorate in education with a specialization in geriatric populations in December of 2007 from the University of Rochester’s Margaret Warner Graduate School of Education and Human Development.
In addition to the doctorate, Father Abas also has three master’s degrees and has worked in a variety of fields, including youth ministry with street gangs in the Bronx. At St. Anne, Father Abas has led several initiatives for the elderly, including discussion groups and an intergenerational drum circle.In January, Father Abas left to take a seven-week journey back to his native Borneo, where he grew up in the Malaysian state of Sabah.
Speaking in an interview prior to his trip, he said he intends to continue his research by interviewing the elderly in Borneo as well. He said he plans to compare whether a different cultural background changes how people describe loneliness.He said work on his doctorate “Loneliness and Lived Experiences of Elderly Individuals Living Independently: A Hermeneutic Phenomological Approach” took two years to complete. He recruited volunteers from throughout upstate New York who were 65 years and older and living independently. All were from different professional backgrounds, and his research subjects included a retired social worker, a retired English teacher and a retired professional truck driver.
Father Abas had the seniors describe their everyday lives, then he was able to interpret the meaning of the phrases they used and the words they said to him.“I couldn’t jump to the conclusion of whether they were lonely or not,” Father Abas noted.As he began to explore the theme of loneliness more, Father Abas asked people what they did when they were lonely, how they would explain the reason for their loneliness and how they would describe their experience with loneliness.“Some of them found it easy to speak, and they were very open with their story,”
Father Abas said. “Some found it really difficult.”Although he was confronted with initial reluctance, Father Abas did have success when he asked the elderly to describe a favorite memory, which led to disclosures about loneliness.“I could even see some of them really feel a burden in their lives,” he said.Many used metaphors to describe their lives, such as a flowing river, a flower, a cross, a sunset, an oak tree, an entangled circle or a spinning top. After a while, though, as participants continued meeting with Father Abas, some began to look at the world in more positive ways.
For example, the person who described life as a flowing river amended the statement to say the river was not that treacherous.“It’s flowing much better,” Father Abas recalled the person saying.Sue Murty, director of social work at St. Ann’s Community in Rochester, said isolation and loneliness in the elderly can be caused by the loss of loved ones; the loss of independence, such as the loss of driving abilities; and the loss of physical abilities, such as hearing or mobility.She said seniors often are reluctant to talk about being lonely, so neighbors and friends should keep watch for signs of changes in routine, reclusive behavior or depression. Another sign may be an eagerness to talk for a long time, she said. Friends and neighbors should begin asking questions if they see signs of loneliness, she noted.“Start by saying, who else do you get support from? Are there other persons in your life?” Murty said.
Father Abas said other ways to cope with loneliness include having a strong faith, acknowledging the importance of prayer, accepting loss and coming to terms with the fact that a person is alone.It also is important for seniors to take care of their health so that a loss of mobility does not isolate them, he said. Seniors also should consider the time and talents that they are able to give, and they should maintain social connections to counter loneliness.“Within the church parish level, they can join a social-programming group or some involvement in their church,” Father Abas said.Most importantly, seniors should turn to others if they are feeling isolated, he noted.“The way to work through it is to ask for help from people,” Father Abas said.
(Publication Date: 02-28-2008) By Amy Kotlarz/Catholic Courier
Is loneliness a reality in life?
How do we know that someone is lonely?
You will show me the path of life. -Psalm 62-
You will show me the path of life. -Psalm 62-
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