Saturday, November 8, 2008

..loving heart...


A 98 year old woman said this to me, "How I wish I can hear better whatever you are saying to me." This situation is very common in my working place. Even though with the help of their hearing aids, few of the elderly individuals are still unable to clearly hear. Nonetheless, loving heart and by repeating the sentences to him/her again, enables a person to finally hear and understand me.


God bless all these elderly individuals.

Friday, November 7, 2008

"I could not jump to conclusion whether they are lonely..."


Rochester priest studies loneliness in the elderly (Publication Date: 02-28-2008) By Amy Kotlarz/Catholic Courier
To get a handle on loneliness in the elderly, Father Peter Abas, parochial administrator at St. Anne Parish in Rochester, asked seniors he was counseling to describe their lives through art.
Together, they painted a picture. One woman contributed a cactus to the canvas.
Life for her is a cactus -- so dry,he said.
That was just one metaphor of many that seniors used to describe their lives to Father Abas as he researched his doctoral dissertation on how elderly individuals describe and interpret the experience of loneliness.
Loneliness is the existence of a powerful void; the state of being overwhelmed with work and life; the state of emotional pain; and the state of no direction,he said.
He earned his doctorate in education with a specialization in geriatric populations in December of 2007 from the University of Rochesters Margaret Warner Graduate School of Education and Human Development. In addition to the doctorate, Father Abas also has three masters degrees and has worked in a variety of fields, including youth ministry with street gangs in the Bronx. At St. Anne, Father Abas has led several initiatives for the elderly, including discussion groups and an intergenerational drum circle.
In January, Father Abas left to take a seven-week journey back to his native Borneo, where he grew up in the Malaysian state of Sabah. Speaking in an interview prior to his trip, he said he intends to continue his research by interviewing the elderly in Borneo as well. He said he plans to compare whether a different cultural background changes how people describe loneliness.
He said work on his doctorate Loneliness and Lived Experiences of Elderly Individuals Living Independently: A Hermeneutic Phenomological Approachtook two years to complete. He recruited volunteers from throughout upstate New York who were 65 years and older and living independently. All were from different professional backgrounds, and his research subjects included a retired social worker, a retired English teacher and a retired professional truck driver.
Father Abas had the seniors describe their everyday lives, then he was able to interpret the meaning of the phrases they used and the words they said to him.
I couldnt jump to the conclusion of whether they were lonely or not,Father Abas noted.
As he began to explore the theme of loneliness more, Father Abas asked people what they did when they were lonely, how they would explain the reason for their loneliness and how they would describe their experience with loneliness.
Some of them found it easy to speak, and they were very open with their story,Father Abas said. Some found it really difficult.
Although he was confronted with initial reluctance, Father Abas did have success when he asked the elderly to describe a favorite memory, which led to disclosures about loneliness.
I could even see some of them really feel a burden in their lives,he said.
Many used metaphors to describe their lives, such as a flowing river, a flower, a cross, a sunset, an oak tree, an entangled circle or a spinning top.
After a while, though, as participants continued meeting with Father Abas, some began to look at the world in more positive ways. For example, the person who described life as a flowing river amended the statement to say the river was not that treacherous.
Its flowing much better,Father Abas recalled the person saying.
Sue Murty, director of social work at St. Annes Community in Rochester, said isolation and loneliness in the elderly can be caused by the loss of loved ones; the loss of independence, such as the loss of driving abilities; and the loss of physical abilities, such as hearing or mobility.
She said seniors often are reluctant to talk about being lonely, so neighbors and friends should keep watch for signs of changes in routine, reclusive behavior or depression. Another sign may be an eagerness to talk for a long time, she said. Friends and neighbors should begin asking questions if they see signs of loneliness, she noted.
Start by saying, who else do you get support from? Are there other persons in your life?Murty said.
Father Abas said other ways to cope with loneliness include having a strong faith, acknowledging the importance of prayer, accepting loss and coming to terms with the fact that a person is alone.
It also is important for seniors to take care of their health so that a loss of mobility does not isolate them, he said. Seniors also should consider the time and talents that they are able to give, and they should maintain social connections to counter loneliness.
Within the church parish level, they can join a social-programming group or some involvement in their church,Father Abas said.
Most importantly, seniors should turn to others if they are feeling isolated, he noted.
The way to work through it is to ask for help from people,Father Abas said.

Sunshine brightens the day for many of the elderly. Today the sun is still shining bright. It makes the elderly happier because they can go out from their apartments and feel the fresh air.

Soon the sun will disappear for awhile, nonetheless, it is still there, it is only cover by the thick clouds.




Thursday, November 6, 2008

"I don't know who you are?"

"I don't know who you are?" said an elderly woman. In fact, everyday, I talked to her but today she could not remember me. This woman is 92 year old. God bless her for being honest. Nonetheless, it is really a blessing to minister the elderly individuals.

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What are some common signs of dementia?
Dementia causes many problems for the person who has it and for the person's family. Many of the problems are caused by memory loss. Some common signs of dementia are listed below. Not everyone who has dementia will have all of these signs.
Recent memory loss.
All of us forget things for a while and then remember them later. People with dementia often forget things, but they never remember them. They might ask you the same question over and over, each time forgetting that you've already given them the answer. They won't even remember that they already asked the question.
Difficulty performing familiar tasks.
People who have dementia might cook a meal but forget to serve it. They might even forget that they cooked it.
Problems with language.
People who have dementia may forget simple words or use the wrong words. This makes it hard to understand what they want.
Time and place disorientation.
People who have dementia may get lost on their own street. They may forget how they got to a certain place and how to get back home.
Poor judgment.
Even a person who doesn't have dementia might get distracted. But people who have dementia can forget simple things, like forgetting to put on a coat before going out in cold weather.
Problems with abstract thinking.
Anybody might have trouble balancing a checkbook, but people who have dementia may forget what the numbers are and what has to be done with them.
Misplacing things.
People who have dementia may put things in the wrong places. They might put an iron in the freezer or a wristwatch in the sugar bowl. Then they can't find these things later.
Changes in mood.
Everyone is moody at times, but people with dementia may have fast mood swings, going from calm to tears to anger in a few minutes.
Personality changes.
People who have dementia may have drastic changes in personality. They might become irritable, suspicious or fearful.
Loss of initiative.
People who have dementia may become passive. They might not want to go places or see other people.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

"God bless all of you..."




What a great day for all the elderly individuals, a new president of american OBAMA. Many of them asked me about how I felt about the event of the election. My answer was very simple, "God bless all of you, and especially for the new leadership in this country."


Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Loneliness Vs Solitude

"The path will show me the way to follow each day in my life." Abas, 2008.

When I lost my best friend Dr. Leo Yballe, I was totally confused and isolated myself away from others. I gradually recalled the good old times, we used to sit down together discussing about my dissertation at Dunkin Donut. He always encouraged me, he said, "You will accomplish your dissertation." Each day while I was gathering my data and putting it in writing, memories came like slide shows in my mind.

Even though I had accomplished and graduated with a doctorate from the University of Rochester, I still feel the 'missing pieces' of not able to show and share the fruits of my work to my late father and late Dr. Leo. In order to cope up with the feeling of loneliness, I get myself in the state of solitude. A state in which one is calm, restful, relaxed and feeling one with self and with others-is a better alternative than isolation when coping with loneliness.

Nov 4 -Election Day


"I pray to God for the welfare of our country"
Today at least five elderly individuals happily share to me that they voted this morning.

99 year old woman : "I am happy I voted this morning."

92 year old man: "I am going to vote today and I know who I will vote."

89 year old woman: "How I wish, God know what is happening now."

90 year old woman: "So what is going on today, for I am going to cast my vote?"

88 year old woman: "God know what this country needs."

89 year old man: "I am ready to cast my vote."

It was a joy to listen to them, and I wish them all the best as they cast their votes today.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

"When was the last time I extended to help others?"


"Blessed are they who suffer for They will be comforted"

Ministry to Heal the Body, Mind and Soul of the Suffering.