lost, confused or misunderstood, the lack of direction..

Whether the lonely person feels lost, confused or misunderstood, the lack of direction verifies the state of loneliness that they are experiencing.

"Being alone creates loneliness. My wife passed away; loneliness is also a confusion of my emotion without direction."

"It is different to lose someone (her husband). Confusion hitsme ver much. I am stuck and need direction."

"Lonelinessis similar to getting out of confusion and searching for direction."

"I feel lonely as I am also lost. It is terrible,the direction in unclear for me."

Abas, 2008

...the sun is shining...

"The weather is very good today", said an 85 year old man. He was smiling when he was saying this sentence. It is really a wonderful day, the sun is shining.

"Where am I?...

A 92 year old woman said, "where am I?, I don't know." She was kind of lost and not knowing of where to go. Obviously, she was in the right place. I took her left hand and walked her over to her chair. She said, "Thank you, thank you, thank you." I responded, "It is good to see you are here today." She gave me her big and cheerful smile. This is the situation that I observed each day in my working place. Such a blessing to assist all the elderly people in this center.

...where are my keys?

Today a man in his 80s said, "often I cannot remember where I put thing in my room, I am very forgetful this past days." He further told me that he couldn't even find his keys. Politely, I told him, you can always try to put your keys in one place. I know this might not be possible but at that moment I have to listen and to encourage him.

Let smile little bit!

Three Elderly Men
Three elderly men are talking about their aches, pains and bodily functions. The seventy-year old man says, "I have this problem. I wake up every morning at seven and it takes me twenty minutes to tinkle."
The eighty-year old man says, "My case is worse. I get up at eight and I sit there and grunt and groan for half an hour before I finally have a BM."
The ninety-year old says, "At seven I pee like a horse, at eight I flop like a cow."
"So what's your problem?" ask the others.
"I don't wake up until nine."

Be sensitive to the elderly!

Signs and symptoms of depression in the elderly

Recognizing depression in the elderly starts with knowing the signs and symptoms. Depression red flags include:
1. Sadness
2. Fatigue
3. Abandoning or losing interest in hobbies or other pleasurable past times
4. Social withdrawal and isolation (reluctance to be with friends, engage in activities, or leave home)
5. Weight loss; loss of appetite

6. Sleep disturbances (difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep, oversleeping, or daytime sleepiness)
7. Loss of self-worth (worries about being a burden, feelings of worthlessness, self-loathing)
8. Increased use of alcohol or other drugs
9. Fixation on death; suicidal thoughts or attempts

"d.e..li..cio..us"

Today, I was sitting with this 90 year old woman and she kept on saying, "d..e..li..cio..us." She was telling me that the lunch was delicious. Even though, she couldn't articulate or finished a sentence but she tried her very best to inform me with a big and cheerful smile. What a gift from God, having the opportunity to be with her. By the way, there were other three elderly women who were sitting around the table with me. A 90 year old woman, 88 year old woman and 80 year old woman.

She always asked me, "coo..kies"?, meaning "can I give you cookies. I always said, "yes" and she would slowly walked toward the table to get some cookies for me.

...reminding me of home (Borneo)

Kadazan elderly woman with her beautiful and colorful traditional attire. Seeing this picture remind me of all the elderly individuals whom I visited in the villages when I was at home (Borneo) last year. Kopivosiaan!

Filial Responsibility

Filial Responsibility
Filial responsibility is the obligation of an adult child to assume parent care and to meet the needs of his or her aged parent; it emphasizes duty and is usually connected with protection, care or financial support. The word care denotes attention to or responsibility for the safety and well-being of others, which is interpreted very broadly. For instance, what gives parents the greatest anxiety is their children's health. Thus filial responsibility requires that one pay attention to one's own health and relieve parents of this anxiety. Furthermore, Confucius said, "While his parents are alive, the son may not go abroad to a distance. If he goes abroad, he must have a fixed place to which he goes." Thus, to be responsible to the parent, a son should refrain from distant travels. More importantly, adult children assume the responsibility of caring for their dependent parents, which places a heavy burden on them and their family, but they fulfill this duty whether they like it or not. In East Asia, the majority of elderly parents still live with their married son or daughter, thus "aging in place" with help from their children. This is seen as an expression of filial responsibility by adult children. Filial Piety: The Traditional Ideal of Parent Care in East Asia
by Kyu-taik Sung

"I am very sorry...

"I am very sorry, I forgot to get the other things ready" said an 80 year old woman. She felt very bad because she did not do the right thing. I told her, "please do not be too hard on to yourself." She said, "thank you"and she gave me a smile.

Am I on the right path?

This morning an elderly woman (probably she was in her 80s) told me, "it is a blessing for me to come to church." She said, "life keeps on spinning but it is good to stop and reflect for a moment to see whether I am walking on the right path." This is a very profound sentence from her.