Listen to what elderly individuals have to say...

"I think it (Loneliness) is more like emptiness; "not going to see anyome and no one is coming to see me." She adds, "I think there was a void created in my life because I lived alone and really had no close relatives as far as children go."

"Loneliness is a kind of emptiness, an empty feeling of being alone and abandoned. "My social life...Iguess...church friends, out to breakfast with friends, visiting and having people over for dinner, going to their houses."

Dissertation Excerpts (Abas, 2008).

No one physically around

Causes of Loneliness

No one physically around

Sample of Excerpts:

• It is that vaccum, the emptiness that creates loneliness because you look around and nobody is around.


• Emptiness means I am going to see anyone, and no one is coming to see me.


• I would be lonely if I did not have my friends.

Dissertation Excerpts, Abas 2008.

...Lack of support...

Causes of Loneliness

Lack of support

Sample of Excerpts:

• I feel lonely because I do not want to bother people. It is an empty feeling alone.
• Being alone in the house and alone in the tasks that I have to accomplish, it is difficult without support.
• I was afraind of being lonely. All I have is my two sons but they are far away from me.
• It is a negative because you do not have a sounding board. You do not have someone of whom to inquire, what do you think about it?

Dissertation Excerpts, Abas 2008.

...I never married and eventually loneliness occurred."

Causes of Loneliness
Divorced/Never Married
Sample of Excerpts:

• When my husband and I were separated and finally divorced, the consequences were missing him and feeling lonely.
• I never married, and the situation made me lonely.
• I was never like others, I never married and eventually loneliness occurred.

Causes of Loneliness
Children are grwon up and moved away
Sample of Excerpts:

• All of the sudden, I am alone and lonely.
• My children are grown and gone, and the situation created loneliness and emptiness
• I am alone in the house and my children are gone; once in a while, loneliness occurs.

  "You know that you are lonely, but you want to tell more about it to people, that loneliness is something about sadness; is something about emptiness. Loneliness is something about the inner suffering inside. It is not physical, you know. You are craving for...Emptiness would be one word that would fit it." Dissertation excerpts, Abas 2008

..."hole" in my heart from losing my son."

Causes of Loneliness:
Death of parents, spouses, children and siblings

Sample of Excerpts:

• I miss my mother, father, brother and sister who passed away.


• I miss my husband and after my husband had died and just the sound of suitcae and my brief case in the empty house is chilling.


• It is emotional painful because I miss my my wife.


• It is uphill missing my wife who passed away, it brings sadness and loneliness.


• There is always that "hole" in my heart from losing my son.

-Abas, 2008-

...feeling(s) from the heart!

"How are you today?" This is the common question, I normally ask someone when I meet him/her.

These were the responses I received from different elderly individuals:

I feel like a baby today, I lost one of my tooth.

Today, it is bad for me, I do not know why.

I cannot complain, I feel I am very good.

Very good and how about you?

It is not easy with life, I am a bit down today.

Hope the weather is better today.

God is good, I am happy today.

It can be boring today, I do not know what I want to do later.

It is upsetting there are many things I want to do but I am unable to accomplish.

Each individual expressed different feeling(s) and he/she really expressed it from the heart.

Often I take for granted that everyone is doing well, not until I heard her/his own words, then I should not jump to conclusion that they are OK!

"I am looking forward to dance again."

I used to dance when I was young and in fact still dance now. Unfortunately, I met an automobile accident two years ago. Now I am doing my therapy to help me to walk again. I am looking forward to dance again.

-Shared by a woman 8o year old woman-

...the sound was very peaceful and comforting...

It was a joyful afternoon today, there were about thirtyparticipants in the second session of Peaceful Phytmic Hand Drumming. Participants were very delightful to hear the beautiful beats they produced as they drummed in group. The oldest drummer was 103 year old. Thanks be to God.

Participants own words:

It makes my day joyful.

I enjoy it, I never know I can drum.

This is awersome, can we have it again?

I feel relax and very peaceful.

Drumming is nurturing my feeling.

I can't believe that I am here today.

I never want to miss this session.

This drum I used is phenomenal.

The sound was very peaceful and comforting.