Life Flowing Like a River...

Life Flowing Like a River
Though that life is a romantic journey
But it takes me to a different path of life
Life fills with disappointments and sadness.

This long uphill journey lead to negative experience of loneliness and depression.
The flowing river turns to river of tears.
Faith helps me to direct my path to the positive direction of life.

Hope nurtures the inner emotion and animates the human frailty.
The water of life calms the river of tears into flow of joy.
The journey needs to be taken one day at time.

2/12/07- A Flowing River
This person uses the metaphor of a flowing river to describe daily journey of life. Click here to listen to the beauty of a flowing water.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gvEmaBcUQcI&feature=related

She believes that people were put on earth to carry crosses...

An 86 year-old-woman who is a retired truck driver and has lived alone in her own home since her husband passed away 31 years ago. She selects a cross as a metaphor of her life, it is directly related to her beliefs and more specially, her religion. She believes that people were put on earth to carry crosses.

She said, "You know that you are lonely, but you want to tell more about it to people, that loneiness is something about sadness; it something about emptiness. Loneliness is something about inner suffering inside. It is not physical, you know. You are craving...Emptiness would be one word that would fit it."

...recalling the memory when I was 12 years old...

When I was 12 years old, I used to collect water in this small stream. This little stream still exists. In the picture my grand-nephew (Jay) and nephew (Boy) are seen trying to collect water.

DEFINITION OF LONELINESS (50s to 80s)

1. Sullivan (1953) describes loneliness as the exceedingly unpleasant and driving experience connected with inadequate discharge of the need for human intimacy.
2. Von Witzleben (1958) believes it is important to have a defintion of loneliness which provides distinctions.

a) He refers to one kind of loneliness as an essential human characteristic not a symptom his belief that this kind of loneliness could not be analyzed in the usual way. This loneliness is sometimes referred to as solitude.

b) The second definition is the feeling caused by loss of object, a feeling of being abandoned or deserted and this is called secondary loneliness.

3. Moustakas (1961) describes loneliness in two ways: the existential loneliness which is an inevitable part of the human experience an dthe kind of loneliness which is vague and disturbing anxiety.

4. Weiss (1973) identfies two dimensions of loneliness: social isolation and emotional isolation.

a) Social isolation results from being or feeling detached from social network or community.

b) Emotional isolation stems from the loss or absence of an attachment figure.

5. Sermat (1978) explains loneliness is an experienced discrepancy between the kinds of interpersonal relationships the indidvidual perceives himself as having at the time, and the kinds of relationships he would like to have either in terms of his past experiences or some ideal state that he has actually never experienced.

6. Young (1982) defines loneliness as the absence or perceived absence of satisfying social relationships, accompanied by symptoms of psychological distress that related to the actual or perceived absence relationships.

7. Peplau and Perlman (1982) describes loneliness is the psychological state which results from discrepancies between one's desired and one's actual relationship. This objective and clinical and does not indicate how painful and all consuming such a condition can be. Do not forget to watch this...link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jCMa8MLM_Ds

"...their contributions toward this success will be treasured and applied as I continue to work with the elderly population.

December 19, 2007

I successfully defended my Doctoral Dissertation-Loneliness and Lived Experiences of Elderly Individuals Living Independently: Hermeneutic Phenomenological Approach- at the University of Rochester, New York. This dissertation was specially dedicated to those persons mentioned below. http://www.rochester.edu/warner/newsevents/2008/05/slides.html

Dedication
While my father was ailing with liver cancer, he knew that I was doing research on the topic of loneliness and elderly individuals. Two days before he died, he echoed this inspiring statement to me. He said, “You need to accomplish this research.” My father’s words affirmed my choice of topic. So I give this special dedication and thank you- Kotohuadan- to my late father Nicholas Abas Maginjang and also a very special dedication to my mother Monica Tati Tomoh, who at this moment is still battling with sickness as well. Ina (Mother), thank you for your encouragement and daily prayers that you have offered for me and for the fulfillment of your dream to see the accomplishment of this work.

This dissertation is also dedicated to the friendship and memory of Dr. Leo Yballe, a professor at the School of Management in Nazareth College, Rochester New York. Leo who was the one who encouraged me to pursue with this research and, also assured me that this research would bring new insights/benefit to the caregivers of Borneo Island. Leo died (May 21, 2007) in a motorcycle accident while visiting his family in Cebu, Philippines. Leo lived his life well, acting conscientiously upon his spiritual beliefs by assisting both friends and strangers in need.

Finally this dissertation is also dedicated to the late Dr. Gerald Rubenstein, who was a mentor, supervisor, and a friend. Dr.Gerald Rubenstein, also known as Jerry, inspired me to pursue my doctoral dissertation on the topic of loneliness and elderly individuals. While writing this dissertation, Dr. Gerald’s untiring encouragement always echoed in my ears and this gave me the ongoing motivation to complete the race.

These three beloved people mentioned above were unable to see the fruit of this labor, which they had planted, trimmed, watered, and nurtured. Nonetheless, their contributions toward this success will be treasured and applied as I continue to work with the elderly population.

"In time of Loneliness, look around you...someone does care...

"And everywhere you are to go, my hand will follow, you will not be alone. In all the danger that you fear, You'll find me very near, Your words my own. "

"A simple home with a big heart..."

This is how my Ina looks, with her sweet and beautiful smile. She loves to plant flowers and I used to tell her, "you have green-fingers." In spite of her sickness, she still cares for others and she always welcomes people from the village to her simple home.