A state of Emotional Pain

A State of Emotional Pain


My heart is still longing for him (her late husband). Loneliness is sad and emotionally unpleasant. - Josephine-

A feeling of sadness. Participants in this study repeatedly stated that many of their lonely times included times of sadness as well. “Feelings of sadness” is a phrase that has never been used in the UCLA Loneliness scale. Rather, it is reported in this way: “I am unhappy being so withdrawn.” For the purpose of this study, I am assuming that the UCLA concept of ‘unhappiness’ is equivalent to the sadness, observed in the participants in this study.

Unhappiness caused by the frustration of loneliness, unhappiness caused by the absence of others, or still yet so many other emotions could automatically and knowingly occur while trying to cope with each passing day. According to my study, sadness quickly intensifies. It passes through stages of anger, rage, defiance, frustration, even self-pity but very often, the end result is a deep seated sadness that easily evolves into, in the worst case scenario, profound sadness that has proved to be a characteristic of the loneliness experience by the participants in this study.

Rubenstein and Shavers (1982) mentioned that sadness is a feeling that goes with loneliness. Another study also affirmed that in general, persons who reported loneliness were more depressed, anxious, and hopeless, and were more likely to report sadness and anhedonia, than individuals who did not report loneliness. (Barg, Ashomre, Wittink, Murray, Bogner and Gallo (2006).

Gaev (1976) explains that emotional loneliness describes a general feeling of sadness and longing when the need for genuine emotional closeness, affection or meaningful conversation with significant others is frustrated, even if in a relationship. Gaev (1976) uses the term social loneliness to identify the feeling of sadness stemming from the unsatisfied need to belong or have a place in the social world and she likens it to the sociological term of alienation.

Loneliness, then, sounds like an unpleasant state of emotional pain and negative self-image that people fear, attempt to avoid, and struggle to escape. Buchholz and Catton (1999) describe loneliness as a negative state most often coupled with feelings of sadness and hopelessness. So, it can be easily deduced that sadness is the effect after many other emotions take precedence that is the multi-causal ignition that causes the feeling to erupt and to be maintained.

It (loneliness) is a feeling of hurt when you do not have that person (his late wife) with you any longer. -Adrian-

 
Extract taken from a doctoral Dissertation, (Abas, 2007)