Dissertation defended in December 2007 at the University of Rochester, New York

Abstract

            Loneliness is a pervasive human experience. It is a subjective experience that is influenced by one’s personality and situational variables. Loneliness has been recognized as a public health problem that requires the attention of clinicians and researchers both as a condition in itself and its relationship to other conditions.

            The study examined and generated an in-depth understanding of loneliness as experienced by eight individuals (65 years and above) living independently. A hermeneutic-phenomenological approach was used to describe and interpret the meaning of loneliness in the lived experience of elderly individuals. These interpretations were made possible through the support of the incidental themes, which were formulated by the participants’ descriptions of their experiences of loneliness. Through interpretation, four themes emerged from explanations of how the elderly individuals interpreted loneliness. First, the participants experienced the existence of a painful void. Second, the participants experienced a state of being overwhelmed with work and emotion. Third, participants experienced a state of emotional pain. Fourth, the participants experienced a state of no direction.

             These findings affirmed that negative feelings were associated with loneliness according to the participants’ descriptions. Understanding the common themes and meanings of the lived experience of these elderly individuals provides an effective base for the therapeutic relationship between counselor and the elder. The strengths and limitations of the study, and significant implications of the findings and future research, practice and education in counseling, were identified.  

""Don't miss a beat!"

Sisters of Mercy Motherhouse residents prove they don't miss a beat

By Amy Kotlarz/Catholic Courier

BRIGHTON -- The monthly drum circle at the Sisters of Mercy Motherhouse starts early, allowing the sound of drums to reverberate to the floors above and below.

"Why don’t we just play and wake up the others?" Father Peter Abas, motherhouse chaplain and sacramental minister at Henrietta's Guardian Angels Parish, jokingly suggested to those gathered for the November session.

Father Abas, who began leading the motherhouse’s drum circle several months ago, headed around the room passing out drums, maracas and other percussion instruments big and small to the group of elderly sisters, priests and laypeople.

Once all had instruments, Father Abas suggested they warm up, and he clapped out a beat with his hands. On his cue, participants joined in with taps, booms, bangs and clangs. Father Abas then added a more complex rhythm, and Sister Margaret Caufield, a retired music teacher, created a melody from her perch at the piano.

The din came to a prompt close when Father Abas counted "4-3-2-1," and then the jokes started.

"We can make a lot of money if we go for a concert," the priest quipped.

Yet unlike many other musical groups, this drum circle is an end unto itself. Father Abas, who has led several other area drum circles, noted its therapeutic aspects: It helps people relax, gives them energy, and allows them to vent frustrations and express their talents. At the outset, he said, some of the participants seemed weak, but after even one session of drumming, they appeared to be invigorated.

To illustrate this point, during a break in the music Father Abas asked the 80- and 90-year-old participants how they felt.

"Oh, about 25," one sister responded.

"I want to get up and dance," said Sister Mary Carmella Coene, who will turn 100 on Dec. 21. During the circle, she vigorously hit a bass drum as tall as the seat on her wheelchair.

After the drumming session Father Abas pointed out that many of the circle’s participants live in the motherhouse’s dementia unit.

"This is the first time I have done it (a drum circle) in a residence and with some in a state of Alzheimer’s or dementia," he noted.

To help them get the full benefit of the circle, he gently encouraged participants who were reluctant to pick up an instrument and try drumming. For example, one sister who was wheeled to the circle tried to turn down the offer of a drum.

"I don’t want any," she said. "I don’t want to make noise."

"Today, you are not making noise, you are producing noise," Father Abas remarked as he handed her a drum.

Other participants said they are sold on the circle and on Father Abas.

"I think Father’s spirit is so wonderful," Sister Mary Jude Rockenbrock said.

"You don’t have to do it exactly, and you don’t have to be musical," Sister Rita Biel remarked.

"When you really get going, you can feel the other people take over," said Father David Doerner, a former missionary to Japan who participated in the circle.

The communal nature of the circle is one reason why Sister Caufield, the piano player, said she pines to be back in its midst.

"One hour of piano playing at my age is difficult," said Sister Caufield, who taught at Rochester's St. Andrew and St. John the Evangelist schools.

But if it is difficult, Sister Caufield doesn’t let on. As participants call out the names of songs from the patriotic ("God Bless America"), to the nostalgic ("You are my Sunshine"), to the seasonal ("Santa Claus is Coming to Town"), she pulled the melodies from her memory.

Some sisters joined in singing the songs. Sister Caufield’s biological sister, Sister Ann Caufield, said it's clear that people find it fun to be a part of the circle.

"By the looks on their faces, everybody seems to enjoy it," she observed.

- See more at: http://www.catholiccourier.com/regional-life/monroe/features/sisters-of-mercy-motherhouse-residents-prove-they-dont-miss-a-beat/#sthash.1AGWzwmN.dpuf

Growing Up!

One hot issue that seems to be lingering around for sometime and happens to be of a great concern for politicians, lawmakers, academicians, parents, educationalist and community leaders is the decline of civic consciousness among youth. Apart from the decline in civic consciousness, the youth are also exposed to different social problems which includes substance abuse, discipline problems, gangsterism, vandalism, alcoholism and young relationships among youths. It has been recommended that the community and policy makers need to view social problems holistically.

Dominic had the unique opportunity to talk to Dr. Peter Abas who as they say, went through the grind while growing up and has gained the right to share his experiences and wisdom with the listeners. He suggests that,”a lot of things can be achieved through sports and games.” Dr. Peter did just that when he was a young lad, with lots of encouragement and support from his father. His fathers positive influence over him did make a big difference in developing his personality and character.

As a social worker, counsellor and community leader Dr. Peter has this question to ask all parents, “How much quality time are you actually investing with your kids?” Dr. Peter further elaborates that it is extremely critical during these challenging and complex times for parents to give their undivided attention to their kids, particularly during their growing-up years. “My fathers attention and inspiration has made a tremendous difference to my life.” I sincerely hope that this interview will inspire parents and the young ones, that it is possible for your kids to achieve success no matter what the circumstances are, through effective mentoring of parents and the willingness of the respective parent to take charge. As parents, we are ultimately responsible for the way our children turn out.

Dr. Peter Abas was born on 18 May 1960, Penampang, Sabah or popularly known as North Borneo. Dr. Peter completed his pre-university at St. Francis Xaviers Seminary in Singapore and spent another six years at St. Peters College, Kuching, Sarawak majoring in Theology & Philosophy. After which Peter went to St. Josephs, Kiulu, Sabah serving the poor community before being sent to San Anselmo Pontifical University, Rome, Italy to obtain the ‘ Licentiate In Sacred Liturgy.’ While in Italy he mastered the Italian language.

When Dr. Peter returned to this region he spent 1 year at SAIDI (Philipines) focusing on human formation and later went back to teach at St. Peters College, Kuching, Sarawak for 3 years. Obtained a scholarship to pursue a Masters In Counselling at Fordham University, New York, specialising in ‘Substance Abuse By the Young.’ Also completed a Post-Masters in Counselling & Human Services. Obtained a second scholarship to complete a Doctorate In Education at University Rochester, New York, specialising in Counselling & Human Development(Gerontology Counselling) and wrote a book on ‘Loneliness’ focusing on the elderly above 65 years of age.

In New York, Dr. Peter Abas founded the St. Raymonds Youth Group or better known as ‘Heart-Beats.’ Dr. Peter also had exposure with youth centres in Australia and Germany. While in Germany he mastered the German language. Dr. Peter Abas was invited to present a paper in France at the 19th World Congress for the International Association Of Gerontology And Geriatrics. Dr. Peter completed a research on ‘End Of Life’ related to Hospice and Palliative Care. Implemented innovative methods in counselling for the elderly such as ‘Rhythmic Tranquility.’ Dr. Peter was very active at the St. Josephs Neighbourhood Counselling Center, New York, Pastoral Counselling & Family Therapy, New York and University Counselling Center , New York.

"Say No Drugs, Say Yes to Life"

Catholic priest heals the wounds of teen life

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 by Joe Leong

SABAH FOCUS: Earlier this month, in conjunction with the national level Anti-Dadah Day, Home Minister Datuk Seri Ahmad Zahid Hamidi made a frightening disclosure that two boys from Sabah aged eight and nine are among the youngest addicts in Malaysia.

The duo from Papar and Keningau had indulged in drugs for a few months before their parents found out and handed them to the cure and care centre of the National Anti-Drugs Agency (AADK). 

“Drug abuse remains a major problem with some of the latest addicts being as young as seven, hooked on drugs since last year. This is certainly worrying,” Zahid said. His concern was being echoed by AADK's Director-General Datuk Suhaimi Abdullah who added, “This is worrying. Here, we are trying to overcome teenage involvement but now we have such young kids.” 

Seeing the many dangers that the young are now facing, a Catholic priest took the initiative to conduct a one-day programme on March 14, aimed to help participants cope with “Modern Wounds in Teens Life”, as the title of the programme suggests.

“One of the biggest problems among the young in Sabah now is on drugs. Teens can easily be influenced,” said Fr Peter Abas, parish priest at Holy Nativity Church, at Terawi, in Penampang, who was the main speaker at the gathering attended by a group of 170 school children aged from 12-17 years from Penampang, Inanam, Tuaran and Papar.

They packed the foyer at the entrance of the church to listen to talks on drugs and alcohol abuse among teens, technology addiction and the positive application of technology for teens. They were also told about the Internet and the dangers arising from information communication technology (ICT).

Fr Peter told Theantdaily that being a mental health counsellor, a lot of clients referred to him were mostly victims of the drug, syabu. 

“I want parents to be aware that their children are easily influenced. My message to the teens gathered here today is this - Don't let syabu hit you but you hit the syabu.

In his talks to teens, he urged them to beware of peer pressure, curiosity of wanting to try, and to make the excuse that they had come from a broken family.

“I tell parents all the time that they need to spend quality time with their children. It is not enough just to give them food and comforts of life at home. What they need more are expressions of love from the parents. That is lacking,” Fr Peter advised.

He said parents have depended too much on the education system to teach their children. “The real education is to start from the parents. This is what I stress whenever I meet them.”

Fr Peter gained his wide knowledge and experience in drug abuse and menace during his several years of stay at the Bronx in New York where he undertook his post graduate studies and stayed on as the priest in charge of a parish there. 

Firstly, he did his master and post master at Fordham University, then a doctorate at University of Rochester, NY, with specialisation in genetic population on the issue of Alzheimer’s disease and dementia. He stayed on to teach there before returning to Sabah in 2011. 

His Bronx experience has certainly helped him as a counsellor for families having problems related with marriage, children involved with crime and drugs and other social ills.

Rather than use of gentle words and cautious approach as is expected in such religious education sessions for youth, he spoke to the group of teens on Saturday directly and openly about the dangers of pornography, masturbation, and the dangers of how a simple photo of a girl could be doctored into a girl in the nude.

The participants were taught the right and wrong use of the Internet and the social media such as WhatsApp and Facebook. Throughout the day's programme, slogans such as, “Be master of technology, not be a slave of technology” and “Hit the drug out of your life, not let the drug hit you”, repeatedly resounded in the ears of the teens.

It is now left to be seen how these 170 teens would put these aims into practice in their daily school life from here on. The organisers aim to form a core team from the group who could later assist in conducting similar courses elsewhere in Penampang and other parts of the state.

Related Stories

"A Hole In My heart" www.inspire.fm

By Dominic Joseph of www.inspire.fm March 5 2013

Since Loneliness generated lots of interest among our listeners, I took the opportunity to interview Dr. Peter Abas to generate an in-dept understanding of Loneliness with his case study titled, ‘Hole In The Heart.’ Van Manen’s hermeneutic approach(1990) was used to describe and interpret within an existential theoretical framework the meaning of Loneliness in the lived experience of elderly individuals. Loneliness is a pervasive human experience. It is a subjective experience that is influenced by one’s personality and situational variable. Loneliness has been recognized as a public health problem that requires the attention of clinicians and researchers both as a condition in itself and its relationship to other conditions.

‘Hole In The Heart’ is an actual lived experience of a participant in Dr. Peter’s research that describes the existence of a painful void in his life.

In this interview Dr. Peter defines what Loneliness is all about. He went on to clarify the difference between an introvert and a lonely person, Loneliness and self-pity and idleness leading to Loneliness. Dr. Peter also provides practical tips on how the elderly and young could avoid falling into the trap of Loneliness.



CREATIVE ARTS produced by 12 elderly individuals (ages 70-95)
Own by: Rev.Dr. Peter Abas

 

"DR. PETER ABAS ON GROWING UP!"

Interviewed was done by Dominic Joseph of www.inspire.fm , click this link in order to listen to the audio- program. December 25, 2012.

One hot issue that seems to be lingering around for sometime and happens to be of a great concern for politicians, lawmakers, academicians, parents, educationalist and community leaders is the decline of civic consciousness among youth. Apart from the decline in civic consciousness, the youth are also exposed to different social problems which includes substance abuse, discipline problems, gangsterism, vandalism, alcoholism and young relationships among youths. It has been recommended that the community and policy makers need to view social problems holistically.

Dominic had the unique opportunity to talk to Dr. Peter Abas who as they say, went through the grind while growing up and has gained the right to share his experiences and wisdom with the listeners. He suggests that,”a lot of things can be achieved through sports and games.” Dr. Peter did just that when he was a young lad, with lots of encouragement and support from his father. His fathers positive influence over him did make a big difference in developing his personality and character.

As a social worker, counsellor and community leader Dr. Peter has this question to ask all parents, “How much quality time are you actually investing with your kids?” Dr. Peter further elaborates that it is extremely critical during these challenging and complex times for parents to give their undivided attention to their kids, particularly during their growing-up years. “My fathers attention and inspiration has made a tremendous difference to my life.” I sincerely hope that this interview will inspire parents and the young ones, that it is possible for your kids to achieve success no matter what the circumstances are, through effective mentoring of parents and the willingness of the respective parent to take charge. As parents, we are ultimately responsible for the way our children turn out.

Dr. Peter Abas was born on 18 May 1960, Penampang, Sabah or popularly known as North Borneo. Dr. Peter completed his pre-university at St. Francis Xaviers Seminary in Singapore and spent another six years at St. Peters College, Kuching, Sarawak majoring in Theology & Philosophy. After which Peter went to St. Josephs, Kiulu, Sabah serving the poor community before being sent to San Anselmo Pontifical University, Rome, Italy to obtain the ‘ Licentiate In Sacred Liturgy.’ While in Italy he mastered the Italian language.

When Dr. Peter returned to this region he spent 1 year at SAIDI (Philipines) focusing on human formation and later went back to teach at St. Peters College, Kuching, Sarawak for 3 years. Obtained a scholarship to pursue a Masters In Counselling at Fordham University, New York, specialising in ‘Substance Abuse By the Young.’ Also completed a Post-Masters in Counselling & Human Services. Obtained a second scholarship to complete a Doctorate In Education at University Rochester, New York, specialising in Counselling & Human Development(Gerontology Counselling) and wrote a book on ‘Loneliness’ focusing on the elderly above 65 years of age.

In New York, Dr. Peter Abas founded the St. Raymonds Youth Group or better known as ‘Heart-Beats.’ Dr. Peter also had exposure with youth centres in Australia and Germany. While in Germany he mastered the German language. Dr. Peter Abas was invited to present a paper in France at the 19th World Congress for the International Association Of Gerontology And Geriatrics. Dr. Peter completed a research on ‘End Of Life’ related to Hospice and Palliative Care. Implemented innovative methods in counselling for the elderly such as ‘Rhythmic Tranquility.’ Dr. Peter was very active at the St. Josephs Neighbourhood Counselling Center, New York, Pastoral Counselling & Family Therapy, New York and University Counselling Center , New York.

DRUM YOUR LONELINESS AWAY

In order to listen to this audio interviewed click to www.inspire.fm  January 14, 2013

Often when one mentions a hot issue there is a tendency to relate it to politics, economics, sex scandals, etc. However are you aware that ‘ loneliness’ is actually a hot issue around the globe? Many countries including Malaysia are steadily progressing toward an aging population. While aging is a natural process, its impact can be painful individually as well as the nation. Many International NGO’s are championing the issue of loneliness with respective government’s around the world to give greater attention to their elderly.

The song ‘Are You Lonesome Tonight’ which was first made popular by Elvis Presley followed by Barry Manilow and Norah Jones. Part of the lyrics goes like this, “…with emptiness all around…..is your heart filled with pain. “Loneliness is a ‘hidden killer’ of elderly. reported by Sean Coughlan, BBC News education and family correspondent. For instance in United Kingdom, it has been reported that one in ten elderly people suffers from “intense” loneliness. The campaign group wants loneliness to be recognized as a public health issue.

After speaking to Rev. Dr. Peter Abas, Dominic realized loneliness among the elderly above 65 years is a serious problem around the globe. Dr Peter introduces this subject of loneliness in a way that puts listeners at ease, especially if you have aging parents and as a dutiful son/daughter how do you assist your parents deal with loneliness. His passion, knowledge and experience on the subject of loneliness is indisputable. Dr. Peter has done a lots of research and written a book on ‘Loneliness.’ He has also introduced innovative methods in dealing with loneliness. This interview deals with the topic of loneliness among the elderly who are 65 years old and above.

Here’s a link to Rev. Dr. Peter Abas doctoral dissertation “Loneliness and Lived Experiences of Elderly Individuals Living Independently: Hermeuneutic Phenomenological Approach.

For more of Rev Dr Peter Abas sharing do head on to his website yokuiti-areyoulonely.blogspot.com

Article written and interviewed by DOMINIC JOSEPH of  www.inspire.fm

...the heartbeats...

Am I producing the right melody, perhaps not but it produces the sound of the heartbeats!

"Are you really sure that there is nothing wrong with me?" said an 80 year old elderly woman to me.
I responded, "you are doing, well except for the issue that your children seldom come  to visit you. She nodded her head. Probably a sign of an agreement.

Peter

...A Garden of Flowers...

Vicky

I think it is more like emptiness.  So right there and then I have covered half the day, so even if I do not have any plans to go out for the rest of the day, the spiritual experience and the contact with people gives me a lift. That even if that kind of empty feeling comes along and I feel lonely, later in the day; I have built the foundation in the morning for my day. (Line 103-108 of 1^st interview).

The story of Vicky. Vicky selects a garden of flowers as a metaphor. She feels that flowers symbolize happiness and are the colors of life. However, she admits a garden of flowers also symbolizes the existence of resentment in her. The reason is that she longs to have a cheerful life. Vicky with her gentle voice, allows the interview to flow very well. Vicky elaborates that a garden of flowers always brightens her mood and makes her cheerful and happy.  She was comfortable exploring each question and confidently answered questions posed to her.

Vicky is a 75-year-old retired clerk who is currently living alone in her apartment. Due to her divorce, she has been living independently for 17 years. She mentions that she “was married but I never had children.” She explains, “That was a disappointment and that makes me feel sad, that I do not have that in my life.”

                Vicky describes her experience of loneliness from the lived experience category of lived time and lived other. She realizes that at this stage of her life and after her retirement, she longs to make herself occupied with work and to be with others. She describes her situation of being non-occupied as a reason for her loneliness. She explains further, “I guess it is a day when I do not have any plans. It makes me lonely.”  From this testimony, Vicky has achieved a rationalization about her time of her life when she broke a certain routine (her work experience), which enhanced her loneliness from that point onward.

Vicky’s excerpt shows her description of loneliness as being more like emptiness. She describes it in relation to contact with others, and her spiritual belief becomes the foundation for her ability to cope with this loneliness. The existential category of lived other identifies her loneliness situation, due to the fact that she expresses the importance of personal contact in order to feel complete.

 According to Vicky, being alone and having nothing to do have gradually made her conscious of the existence of loneliness in her life. The fact remains that being alone, however, does not necessarily lead to loneliness, but in Vicky’s case she has clarified the fact that alone and lonely are synonymous; leading to the same result; emptiness. She describes her feelings of being alone as those of emptiness because of not having others presently in her life. She describes, “I think what I mean by empty is, I am not going to see anyone, and no one is coming to see me.”

Caregivers Support Group

Caregivers Support Group

For those who are caring for or concerned about an elderly parent, spouse, relative or friend. Come and join this support group

When: TBA
Where: TBA
Time: TBA
Facilitator: Rev. Dr. Peter Abas

Be alert for Borneon Seniors!

Rhythmic Tranquility: Gaining Strength, Sharing Stories

A group for seniors 50+
Sharing our stories, we discover we are not alone.

§  Tell your story in a safe and supportive environment

§  Ease isolation by connecting with others

§  Learn strategies for emotional safety and self-care

§  Focus on creating and maintaining healthy relationships.

Venue: TBA
When: TBA
TIME: TBA
Facilitator : Rev. Dr. Peter Abas

 

 

"interlocking circles"

Sonia

Well, it can be very lonely, it can be very lonely. I remember coming back from a conference after my husband had died and just the sound of the suitcase and my briefcase in the empty house was just chilling. (Line 18-21 of 1^st interview).

The story of Sonia. Sonia selects interlocking circles as a metaphor. Sonia’s explanation of the “interlocking circles” metaphor relates to being considered as such an important part of each aspect of her life. The need to be supported, and the circumstance of being connected are both key issues for Sonia as she fears becoming entangled to the point of detachment and misdirection. She admits, “I am afraid of the circle becoming untangled.”  She feels that the support she receives comes from her family, the community and her work. The reason is that she is very systems oriented due to her career in social work and considers her personal life using the system theory. Sonia, with her way of responding in a very graphic type of style, due to her passion for being a writer, uses the interlocking circles to describe her lived experiences. When asked questions, she consistently used heartfelt and objective type language and answered genuinely and with ease.

"Like a flowing river"

Alice

I think that once you start feeling some of these aging ailments, I think they compound it, because then you realize that you are not able to do some of the things you like to do, like walking in the mall, for instance (Line 154-158 of 1^st interview).

The story of Alice. Using the metaphor of a flowing river, Alice symbolizes her daily journey of life in this way: She feels that the flowing river, while constantly changing its course, can be treacherous, at times. But it also can easily carry her off, away from the regularities of her life in general. The reason for feeling this way is the relationship that she makes to the concept of “staying afloat” throughout life’s changes. She confidently states that she is surviving and even in the second interview she reiterated that although the river is still treacherous, it is not as dangerous as she felt it was when talking about it in the first interview.

Read this book...Introductory GERONTOLOGICAL NURSING

INTRODUCTORY GERONTOLOGICAL NURSING -Sally Roach.

I have finished reading this excellent text book which I highly recommend for all nursing students who are interested in the geriatric population.

"God help me!"

"If only I can experience the unity among my children that will be my great joy." voiced by an elderly woman.
This must be very upsetting for her because she did her very best to raise up her children, unfortunately her children were not in harmony among themselve.

...Coming Soon

Soon...

 

Weaving Unheard Stories

Collection of Descriptions and Interpretations of LONELINESS

 

 

 

"I am hopeless..."

"I am hopeless and I feel like nobody loves me." Voice from a 79 year old woman. She spoke to me today.

...the inner expressions of 10 elderly individuals...

Beautiful Canvas work produced by 10 elderly individuals during my Group work among the elderly (ages 65 and above).

This Canvas art work is now in Borneo, Sabah.  

Great Man! Santo

Belated 96th  birthday to you Santo. Your lived experiences you  shared with me for the past 10 years will be treasured.
God Bless You!