Tuesday, December 30, 2008

something to learn...


This story is wrtten by Fr. Thomas Tehan.

Growing Old Gracefully


Japanese women live longer than any other women in the world. While I can not explain the reasons for the longevity of Japanese women, I would like to share with you how Mrs. Takako Yanamisawa planned and enjoyed the celebration of her 88th birthday is called Beiju. The word is comprised of two chinese characters: bei, meaning rice, and juwhich has various meanings including age, one's natural life, longevity or congratulations.


In Japan, almost everyone celebrates two birthdays. The first birthday is on New Year's Day and is the same for everyone. It is call Shogastu, or full moon, and a year is added to veryone's age. The second birthday is the actual date of birth. Takako planned to celebrate both of her birthdays with a party in January and another around May 6th, her actual birth date.


Columban Mission, December 2008.

Monday, December 29, 2008

...I am very happy...


"It is hard to be old," said by an 89 year old woman. She further said, "However, I am very happy to reach this age." Listening to her is really teaching me of what is to be "aging gracefully" and still happy.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

...I do not feel lonely."


A 92 year old man said, "At least this year, I do not feel lonely." He was invited to attend seniors' lunch Christmas party. He further said, "I even met someone whom I knew when we were in school together."


This story is very inspiring to me because very often elderly individuals had been overlooked and left behind. Jesus came to the world to bring peace, love, hope and joy. I am glad at least this man experienced the joy of Christmas.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Thank You


A note received today:


Dear Father Peter


MY gift to you this Christmas is THANK YOU


Thank you for your actions-which speak louder than words

and convey reverence, respect and patience for the elderly.


Thank you for your honesty, your humble, self-disclosure, and your sense of humor.


Thank you for your enthusiam for the life and the ways you spark the same in others.


Thank you for your generosity of spirit, time and talent-and for pitching in to help in whatever way is needed.


Thank you for your example of kindness and love.

You challenge me to do-and to BE the same.


My the light of Christ which shines so brightly in you

enable you to feel the warmth of God's loving presence.


May God give you courage and support in your priestly ministry.


Blessings for Christmas and throught the New Year.


In Christ,

SM

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Don't forget the eldely individuals...


Blessed Christmas-The Nativity of the Lord Jesus


Let us remember the elderly individuals, do not forget them.

Spend time with them. Elderly individuals are often lonely due to the fact they have little interaction with others during the day. Many elderly people just enjoy conversing with others, and you stopping by just to chat can make their day.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

...reflect the truth of this...


He drew a circle that shut me out, heretic, rebel, a thing to flout.

But Love and I had the wit to win, we drew a circle that took him in.


Silence is a true friend who never betrays.


Written by a man this morning and was handed to me.

Monday, December 22, 2008

Be thankful to GOD...


Yesterday an 87 year old woman whom I know very well died in her sleep. She is a great pianist. She will be missed in the community.
Today a 100 year old woman told me, she was busy with her 100th birthday and today is a time to have a solitude time with God.
Another 90 year old woman said to me, "Thank you for coming to our place, I thank you and I thank you."
A 92 year old man asked me, "What day is today?" and "When I am supposed to be today?" I told him, well you are with me and enjoy the breakfast.
Another 96 year old woman, she raised her voice, "Where am I going now?" I told her with a gentle voice, "It is time to eat, you are going to take your lunch."

Friday, December 19, 2008

...freezing...


Snowstorm today in Rochester, NY.

...giving & listening heart.


Joy is not a thing, it is in us. - Benjamin Franklin -


The elderly individuals are looking forward to meet and to see their relatives. They are talking about this meeting during this blessed Christma Day. What make an elderly individual joyful is seeing their grand-children and children.


Joy needs to start from us and not the Gift of package we hand over to our grand-parents or parents. We are the greatest gift to them, visit them and give them joy, love and hope. It is the giving and listening heart.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

...motherhouse echoes with the sound of piano, guitar, drums and voices...


Today voices from 3 year old girl was heard from the recreation room. There were about 28 peoples (ages 65 to 100 ) listened and enjoyed the voices of young children ( 3 year old to 10 year old) and teenagers (between 12 year old to 15 year old) who sang the Christmas Carol.

They came to bring the Good News of love, peace, hope and joy in preparation for the birth of Our Lord Jesus Christ.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

...appreciate God's blessing.


When was the last time you stopped and pondered about your journey of life? I often overlooked to stop for awhile and be thankful to God for the many blessings that I have received in my life. Can we slow down little and appreciate God's blessing?

Mt. Kinabalu the highest mountain in South East Asia.
"Linudus ilo Kinabalu." I had reached on the summit of this mountain at 7.00 a.m. in 1977.

...be positively sensitive to her/his needs.


"Where am I going?" asked by 87 year old woman. I saw her sitting alone at the recreation room. I told her, "it is lunch time and I need to wheel you to the dining hall." She was very happy after she heard that I will accompany to the dining hall.

In this wonderful place, a person at this age can be "forgetful' and not knowing what is the time and where to go. The lesson for me as a caregiver is, I need to be positively sensitive to her/his needs.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Blind but hearing...


An 87 year old woman said, "Just talk, I can hear but I cannot see you." It is very inspiring to hear her words because she still appreciates and wants to listen even though she is unable to see me.

When was the last time, we have given encouragement to others?

Saturday, December 13, 2008

...Pray Without Ceasing...


Sometimes a lonely person who seeks help from a friend or a minister gets the answer: "Well, you just need to pray about your problems and the Lord will work them out." This advice can rub many people the wrong way. Too often it is given in an unsympathetic manner. But let's not be so critical of this response that we overlook it altogether.

Prayer can be an extremely effective tool in over-coming loneliness. In 1 Thessalonians 5:7 we are given the simple directive: "Pray without ceasing."
Overcoming Loneliness, Carter, Meier & Minirth (2000).

Friday, December 12, 2008

Good News- Abstract been accepted 19th IAGG World Congress, 2009 Paris, France


Abstract number : 392
Abstract title : LONELINESS AND LIVED EXPERIENCES OF ELDERLY INDIVIDUALS LIVING INDEPENDENTLY: HERMENEUTIC PHENOMENOLOGICAL APPROACH.
Theme : Behavioural and psychological sciences


Dear Prof. Peter Abas,

On behalf of the Scientific Committee, we are pleased to inform you that your abstract listed above has been accepted for presentation at the 19th IAGG World Congress which will take place in Paris from 5 to09 July 2009.

This notification is only being sent to the presenting authors of each abstract and we kindly ask you to share this information with your co-authors.

Please be reminded that all presenters must register for the conference and pay the registration fee in order to confirm their presentation. Failure to do this could result in withdrawing your presentation from the conference program. In order to benefit from the regular bird registration fee, we kindly invite you to register on-line on the Congress website at http://www.gerontologyparis2009.com/before 31 January 2009.


A final notification of acceptance with further details on your presentation (either it has been selected as an oral communication or a poster, time, location, preparation guidelines, etc…) will be sent to you by March 2009.

We thank you very much for your collaboration and are looking forward to your presentation.

Yours sincerely,


Prof Bernard Forette Prof Bruno VellasCongress President Scientific Committee Chairman

Should you have any further questions, do not hesitate to contact our Organizing Secretariat:

ICEO - International Congress & Event Organizers
Your contact : Elodie Bouvier / Speakers Management
Tel: + 32 (0)2 779 59 59 - Fax: + 32 (0)2 779 59 60E-mail: mailto:programme@gerontologyparis2009.com

Prayer for Older People


Prayer for Older People


Our Father in Heaven, I come to you seeking your mercy and love in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Fill me with a deeper faith and trust in you. help me to know even more the depths of your forgiveness. I ask you to grant this in the name of your Son, Jesus christ, who lives and reigns forever. Amen.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Do we have time to listen?


Listening to understand:

.The more we understand about one another, the less we fear.

.The less we fear, the more we trust.

.The more we trust, the more our hearts open to love one another.

The Sacred Art of Listening. -Kay Lindahl-

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

...each day..new learning for me...

Fruits and vegetables are vital as they contain fibre that is crucial in the prevention of intestinal problems like constipation, diverticulosis and diverticulitis

GLIMPSE of events...
"Where am I suppose to go now?" asked by an 88 year old woman. In fact she was on the right place because it was time for lunch. She was very confused and wanted to walk out from the dinning hall. I said to her, "look at the table overthere, do you see your friends?" She smiled and said, "yes, thank you, thank you."

I asked an 87 year old man, "where are you going?" He responded, "I am going to the class." In fact, he was sitting down and ate most of his food. I told him, there is no more activity at this moment, it is time to take lunch." I further tell him, "continue to enjoy your food." He insisted in telling me that he is going to class. I told him, "Ok, you need to eat first and then you will attend the class." He smiled and said, "I am going to class after this." I told him, "Yes and enjoy your food first." I walked away from him and I saw him enjoying his food.

The events happened today in my working place. God bless these elderly peoples they are great and blessing to work with them.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

The healing power of a drum


WHAT ARE YOUR LIFE RHYTHMS?
What rhythms are you aware of in your life?

Do you see yourself as being slow, medium, or fast in your thinking process?
Also rank your feeling and behavior processes, in terms of slow, medium, or fast rhythm.

Describe your life tempo. What is a normal day like for you? Do you see yourself being in synchrony with the world, or do you usually feel more out-of-sorts with your environment?


The above questionaire was devised by Jim Anderson as a way to help individuals gain information as to how rhythm impacts their life.

Monday, December 8, 2008

...they don't miss a beat!


Sisters of Mercy Motherhouse residents prove they don't miss a beat
(Publication Date: 12-05-2008) By Amy Kotlarz/Catholic Courier BRIGHTON --

The monthly drum circle at the Sisters of Mercy Motherhouse starts early, allowing the sound of drums to reverberate to the floors above and below.
"Why don’t we just play and wake up the others?" Father Peter Abas, motherhouse chaplain and sacramental minister at Henrietta's Guardian Angels Parish, jokingly suggested to those gathered for the November session.
Father Abas, who began leading the motherhouse’s drum circle several months ago, headed around the room passing out drums, maracas and other percussion instruments big and small to the group of elderly sisters, priests and laypeople.
Once all had instruments, Father Abas suggested they warm up, and he clapped out a beat with his hands. On his cue, participants joined in with taps, booms, bangs and clangs. Father Abas then added a more complex rhythm, and Sister Margaret Caufield, a retired music teacher, created a melody from her perch at the piano.
The din came to a prompt close when Father Abas counted "4-3-2-1," and then the jokes started.
"We can make a lot of money if we go for a concert," the priest quipped.
Yet unlike many other musical groups, this drum circle is an end unto itself. Father Abas, who has led several other area drum circles, noted its therapeutic aspects: It helps people relax, gives them energy, and allows them to vent frustrations and express their talents. At the outset, he said, some of the participants seemed weak, but after even one session of drumming, they appeared to be invigorated.
To illustrate this point, during a break in the music Father Abas asked the 80- and 90-year-old participants how they felt.
"Oh, about 25," one sister responded.
"I want to get up and dance," said Sister Mary Carmella Coene, who will turn 100 on Dec. 21. During the circle, she vigorously hit a bass drum as tall as the seat on her wheelchair.
After the drumming session Father Abas pointed out that many of the circle’s participants live in the motherhouse’s dementia unit.
"This is the first time I have done it (a drum circle) in a residence and with some in a state of Alzheimer’s or dementia," he noted.
To help them get the full benefit of the circle, he gently encouraged participants who were reluctant to pick up an instrument and try drumming. For example, one sister who was wheeled to the circle tried to turn down the offer of a drum.
"I don’t want any," she said. "I don’t want to make noise."
"Today, you are not making noise, you are producing noise," Father Abas remarked as he handed her a drum.
Other participants said they are sold on the circle and on Father Abas.
"I think Father’s spirit is so wonderful," Sister Mary Jude Rockenbrock said.
"You don’t have to do it exactly, and you don’t have to be musical," Sister Rita Biel remarked.
"When you really get going, you can feel the other people take over," said Father David Doerner, a former missionary to Japan who participated in the circle.
The communal nature of the circle is one reason why Sister Caufield, the piano player, said she pines to be back in its midst.
"One hour of piano playing at my age is difficult," said Sister Caufield, who taught at Rochester's St. Andrew and St. John the Evangelist schools.
But if it is difficult, Sister Caufield doesn’t let on. As participants call out the names of songs from the patriotic ("God Bless America"), to the nostalgic ("You are my Sunshine"), to the seasonal ("Santa Claus is Coming to Town"), she pulled the melodies from her memory.
Some sisters joined in singing the songs. Sister Caufield’s biological sister, Sister Ann Caufield, said it's clear that people find it fun to be a part of the circle.
"By the looks on their faces, everybody seems to enjoy it," she observed.

CatholicCourier.Com

Saturday, December 6, 2008

...be considerate to the elderly...


Yesterday evening, I was talking to a 90 year old woman. She said, "I am unable to hear on my right ear and unfortunately unable to see on my left eye." However, she was telling this issue with a smile. I told her, "thanks for being honest in telling me." Now I know when I speak to you, I will speak on the side where you still hear me. She said, "thank you very much."

Another lesson of how I need to be considerate to respond to the special needs of an elderly individual.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

It is amazing


I was sitting down with three elderly women and enjoying our delicious lunch. One of them is a 90 year old, the other was an 87 year old and the youngest was an 85 year old. The 90 year old woman shared some of her stories. She touches on her educational background, how she grew up and also the many students she had taught in schools. Her stories can be written into a "book" for others to read. "Never give up, in whatever you want to do in life", She said this sentence to me before she ended her story-telling.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

In stillness of the heart, we listen to God


"Be peaceful in yourself, Advent is a time of waiting with hope..., "...be still and let God speak to you." reflection given by a 99 year old woman. (12/3/08)

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

..wise thoughts from them..


A man in his 80s as he was coming into the room said, "be happy, be happy, why be sad." I watched him as he was waving his hands to others. He was very joyful today and I was glad to see him with his joyful mood.


Another woman in her 80s too said, "I could not wait to get better so that I can dance again." I told her you need to eat more food and do more exercises so that you can build up your legs again. She said, "yes, yes I am doing it."


A 90 year old woman said, "the food is de..li..ciou...s" At this moment she has problem with her speech but she is very determine to articulate whatever she wants to say to me.


A 99 year old woman said to me, "I am happy to see you today." Hearing this is a joy for me because if this 99 year woman can said this to me, I need to aware of myself whether I greet others as well. It is always a lesson to learn from the elderly individuals.


A 92 year old man said, "I am very forgetful." This is very true because I was with him for 20 minutes and he kept on asking me the same question for 20 times. God bless all these elderly individuals.

Monday, December 1, 2008

...feeling of missing someone...




"It (Loneliness) is a feeling of missing someone, a signficant other. There is the emptiness in that feeling. It is also painful as I see that I am alone now. Like a part of me is not there. I know it but I can't put my hand on it. It is an inner part of me that I should be aware of but it just isn't there. And yet, I am not grieving because she (wife) is gone. I am looking forward seeing her again."


A 78 year old man describes his feeling of loneliness (Dec 1, 2008).

Saturday, November 29, 2008

...the peacefulness in me."




Communicaton can happen without words. Through the beating of the drums, communication occur between those elderly individuals. As one ( 88 year old woman) of them said, "as I beat the drum I feel the communication with others, the peacefulness in me."

Thursday, November 27, 2008

...when was the last time we thanked GOD?"




An 87 year old woman said, "I am glad that I am able to celebrate thanksgiving again." According to her, thanksgiving is a time to be thankful to God for the gift of her life. She also told me, "we need to ask ourselves, when was the last time we thanked GOD?" She concluded, "it is also good to be alone and to meditate and to reflect God's goodness."

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Words of thanks........




"I will go out tomorrow to celebrate the thanksgiving with my friends"- 90 year old woman
"Any program for you tomorrow, I might go out to eat at my family house" - 85 year old man
"No way to go, I will stay here and enjoy the meal tomorrow" - 90 year old woman.
"I want to thank God for the blessing during the thanskgiving day" -99 year old woman-by the way next month she will be 100.
"Just relaxing tomorrow and be thankful to God"- 89 year old man.
"I will stay home and might just buy food to eat at home" - 92 year old man.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

God I thank you for your goodness











What a joy to see there were 20 elderly individuals (ages 80-100) who attended the drumming season today. The CC reporter and photographer were also there to write for the news. I can only say, "God I thank you for your goodness."

News from the CC will be posted soon once it is been published.

Monday, November 24, 2008

...Thanks...I enjoy my life


An 90 year old woman said, "I just have nothing to say because I enjoy my life." She further explained, "Everyday, I have the food that I need to sustain my health. I am thankful to God."

Her statements inspire me to delve indepth of how I need to Thank God for the many blessing that I have received in my life.

Friday, November 21, 2008

...whole day snowing...


Today, it was snowing the whole day. A 92 year old man called me, "how are you doing today?"

He asked me whether I went out today. He said, "becareful when you are driving the snow can be very slippery." I know he is speaking from his own driving experience. I am glad an elderly man reminded me of my driving here.

...my precious fingers/hands...


An 88 year old woman said, "I look at my fingers/hands each day, they look very precious to me." She further explained, "My hands had touched many people who were in need." She looked at me with a smile.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

The inner feelings...


Aging Gracefully Group was conducted today and there were 17 elderly women attended this session. The ages are between 85 - 100 year old. The discussion topics were:


What is thanksgiving and what am I thankful?

Some personal feelings:

1. I am thankful for my age, I am 100 and it was God's grace that help me. In addition to this, I am also to all my friends who supported me in my journey of life.

2. Thankful for all the things I received in my life and the air I breath everyday.

3. It is very good to thank for God the gift of Life. Thankful for my health.

4. Everyday I thank God for the new day.

5. The daily foods been served in this center.

6. I am 99, I thank God.

7. Even though, I am not able to see clearly, I thank God for my life.

8. I thank God thatI was alive after the accident that I had encountered in my life.

9. What can I say, I want to thank God for everything.

10. Why I am here today, it is because God has given me the precious time to be with all of you.

11. God is great, God help me each day.

12. I take oneday at a time, I am thankful that I am still alive to see the new day.

13. Thank God for my vocation.

14. It is God that make me who am I now, I thank God.


Tuesday, November 18, 2008

..99 birthday..."I make it, I make it...


"I make it, I make it", said by a 99 year old woman who celebrated her birthday today. The community sang the hymn "May the blessing of the Lord", happy birthday and I especially sang the song "one day at a time" for her.

It is a joy to share the joyful celebration with her. She is a gift to the community.

When I told her, "today is your 99 year old birthday" she responded , "thank you, thank you, thank you."

Monday, November 17, 2008

"...walking along the jungle road."


An 88 year old woman said, "Life for me is like walking along the jungle road." "I just take one day at a time, I do not want to rush with life", she concluded.

"...tell me what is new ith your life?"


"What more can a person like me do?" said by a 92 year old man. He further said, "I am alone and I don't have to worry much." This man is very positive with his life and this is really an inspiration for me. He always asked me, "tell me what is new with your life?"

He once told me about his challenging experiences during the second world war. He talked a lot about the jungle.

...worthwhile listening to...


A 99 year old woman asked me today, "how is the weather outside?" I responded, "it is snowing outside." She said, "be careful when you are driving, it can be very slippery." I was very happy to hear her voice reminding me of my driving. This is a woman who had experienced driving for many years. It is a worthwhile listening to this precious advice.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

lost, confused or misunderstood, the lack of direction..


Whether the lonely person feels lost, confused or misunderstood, the lack of direction verifies the state of loneliness that they are experiencing.


"Being alone creates loneliness. My wife passed away; loneliness is also a confusion of my emotion without direction."

"It is different to lose someone (her husband). Confusion hitsme ver much. I am stuck and need direction."

"Lonelinessis similar to getting out of confusion and searching for direction."

"I feel lonely as I am also lost. It is terrible,the direction in unclear for me."


Abas, 2008

Friday, November 14, 2008

...the sun is shining...


"The weather is very good today", said an 85 year old man. He was smiling when he was saying this sentence. It is really a wonderful day, the sun is shining.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

"Where am I?...




A 92 year old woman said, "where am I?, I don't know." She was kind of lost and not knowing of where to go. Obviously, she was in the right place. I took her left hand and walked her over to her chair. She said, "Thank you, thank you, thank you." I responded, "It is good to see you are here today." She gave me her big and cheerful smile. This is the situation that I observed each day in my working place. Such a blessing to assist all the elderly people in this center.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

...where are my keys?


Today a man in his 80s said, "often I cannot remember where I put thing in my room, I am very forgetful this past days." He further told me that he couldn't even find his keys. Politely, I told him, you can always try to put your keys in one place. I know this might not be possible but at that moment I have to listen and to encourage him.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Let smile little bit!


Three Elderly Men
Three elderly men are talking about their aches, pains and bodily functions. The seventy-year old man says, "I have this problem. I wake up every morning at seven and it takes me twenty minutes to tinkle."
The eighty-year old man says, "My case is worse. I get up at eight and I sit there and grunt and groan for half an hour before I finally have a BM."
The ninety-year old says, "At seven I pee like a horse, at eight I flop like a cow."
"So what's your problem?" ask the others.
"I don't wake up until nine."

Be sensitive to the elderly!

Signs and symptoms of depression in the elderly

Recognizing depression in the elderly starts with knowing the signs and symptoms. Depression red flags include:
1. Sadness
2. Fatigue
3. Abandoning or losing interest in hobbies or other pleasurable past times
4. Social withdrawal and isolation (reluctance to be with friends, engage in activities, or leave home)
5. Weight loss; loss of appetite
6. Sleep disturbances (difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep, oversleeping, or daytime sleepiness)
7. Loss of self-worth (worries about being a burden, feelings of worthlessness, self-loathing)
8. Increased use of alcohol or other drugs
9. Fixation on death; suicidal thoughts or attempts

"d.e..li..cio..us"


Today, I was sitting with this 90 year old woman and she kept on saying, "d..e..li..cio..us." She was telling me that the lunch was delicious. Even though, she couldn't articulate or finished a sentence but she tried her very best to inform me with a big and cheerful smile. What a gift from God, having the opportunity to be with her. By the way, there were other three elderly women who were sitting around the table with me. A 90 year old woman, 88 year old woman and 80 year old woman.

She always asked me, "coo..kies"?, meaning "can I give you cookies. I always said, "yes" and she would slowly walked toward the table to get some cookies for me.

Monday, November 10, 2008

...reminding me of home (Borneo)


Kadazan elderly woman with her beautiful and colorful traditional attire. Seeing this picture remind me of all the elderly individuals whom I visited in the villages when I was at home (Borneo) last year. Kopivosiaan!

Filial Responsibility


Filial Responsibility
Filial responsibility is the obligation of an adult child to assume parent care and to meet the needs of his or her aged parent; it emphasizes duty and is usually connected with protection, care or financial support. The word care denotes attention to or responsibility for the safety and well-being of others, which is interpreted very broadly. For instance, what gives parents the greatest anxiety is their children's health. Thus filial responsibility requires that one pay attention to one's own health and relieve parents of this anxiety. Furthermore, Confucius said, "While his parents are alive, the son may not go abroad to a distance. If he goes abroad, he must have a fixed place to which he goes." Thus, to be responsible to the parent, a son should refrain from distant travels. More importantly, adult children assume the responsibility of caring for their dependent parents, which places a heavy burden on them and their family, but they fulfill this duty whether they like it or not. In East Asia, the majority of elderly parents still live with their married son or daughter, thus "aging in place" with help from their children. This is seen as an expression of filial responsibility by adult children. Filial Piety: The Traditional Ideal of Parent Care in East Asia
by Kyu-taik Sung

"I am very sorry...


"I am very sorry, I forgot to get the other things ready" said an 80 year old woman. She felt very bad because she did not do the right thing. I told her, "please do not be too hard on to yourself." She said, "thank you"and she gave me a smile.